A cellphone put me in prison

I hate cellphones more than I hate anything else in this world. It
was a Saturday afternoon. I was on layoff, only working a few hours
here and there at my job. I had just paid the rent and was almost
broke. I heard the local second hand store was selling everything in
the store at half price, that day only. I needed a few items of
clothing so I decided to spend my last couple dollars if they had
something that would fit me, and replace my ragged clothing. I was
minding my own business, looking at items, when some guy walked in the
door. Normally I would not even pay any attention to another
customer, but this guy was yelling the second he walked in the door,
and continued to yell very loudly into his cellphone. Within seconds
the guy was leaning over my shoulder continuing to yell into the phone
at the top of his lungs. I gave him an angry look and walked to the
other side of the store, abandoning what I had been looking at. Less
than a minute passes, and he's immediately next to me again, and
continues to yell into the phone. Once again, I walked to the other
side of the store, and this time I mumbled "asshole" under my breath,
hoping he heard me. I continued to hear his loud voice from the other
side of the store, and I began wondering why someone who can afford
the high costs of owning a cellphone was in a second hand store in the
first place. I finally heard the word "Goodbye". I thought to myself
"Thank God". It was less than a minute, and once again I hear a
really irritating loud noise. Sure enough, it was some sort of "heavy
metal rock garbage playing as his ringtone, and once again the yelling
starts. That did it. I grabbed the item in my hand and decided to
check out and leave the store. I was boiling with anger, and decided
that if I did not leave the store I was going to punch the guy in the
face. I walked to the checkout counter and immediately this asshole
walks up directly behind me, while continuing to yell in his phone.
Then he steps right in front of me, nearly crashing into me, and yells
to the clerk asking what the price is on a pair of pants. That's when
I had it, and said in a loud voice "sir, I was in the checkout line
first, and why dont you take your goddamn phone and get the **** out
of this store". He made a rude comment to me and continued to yell in
the phone. Then he reached right over my shoulder and grabbed an item
lying on the counter, says "hold on" into the phone and yells to the
clerk "how much". His mouth being about 6 inches from my ear. That
did it. I was boiling over and could not take it any longer. I spun
around, and slugged the son of a ***** directly in his mouth, knocking
the phone to the floor. he began to cuss at me, and reached down to
grab his phone. Using all the force I had, I kicked him in the head,
then took my heel and smashed the phone into several pieces, and saw
the battery fly out about the same time he took a swing at me. He
missed my face by an inch, as I spun around again, this time knocking
out his front teeth. I saw the blood gush out of his mouth as I used
my knee to give him the final blow directly between his legs. He
dropped to the floor and moaned. When I looked up, the store clerk
was on the phone to the police. Apparently they were right outside
and they had me in handcuffs within seconds. I told the police about
the rudeness and abrasiveness of the guy, and told them to ask the
clerk. The clerk told the police that she had nothing to say, and did
not want to get involved, just to remove both of us from the store.
The asshole still layed on the floor and did not move. He just
continued to moan in pain. As the police pulled me out of the store,
an ambulance arrived for that asshole. I was taken to the police
station, booked, and thrown in jail until Monday. Monday I went in
front of the District Attorney, and was taken to court, where the
judge refused to listen to my whole story, and told me I was being
sentenced to one year in prison plus a $5000 fine. I told the judge
that I wanted a jury trial, and wanted to summon the store clerk, who
was the witness. He told me I could file an appeal, and had the right
to apply for a court appointed attorney if I could not afford to hire
an attorney. I filed all the paperwork and was given an attorney and
trial date. Of course the trial date was weeks later, and I could not
afford to pay my bail, so I remained in prison week after week. Then
came the worst news. My attorney tried to summon the store clerk only
to find out that she had quit the job, and apparently moved out of
state, and could not be located. Without her as a witness, I had
little ground to stand on. The court proceedings went on month after
month. The asshole claimed in court that I hit him for no reason, and
although he had no front teeth, he showed no scars, and acted very
cocky in court. He even had his new cellphone ring at least 5 times
while he was in court, but the judge only told him to please turn it
off. I was finally given a reduced sentence, ended up spending a
total of 21 1/2 weeks in prison, and had to pay a $2500 fine, which I
was given 3 months to pay. I just got out of prison last week. I am
damn angry about this, and still have to pay the fine. However, I do
feel somewhat good about doing what I did. In fact, if another
asshole did the same thing, I'd do it all over again. I also am going
to do my part to disrupt cellphone communications, and heard there is
a device that will render all cellphones within a certain distance,
useless. I fully intend to get one of these devices. In fact, I may
get many of them and place them all over town. Whenever I see a
cellphone laying anywhere, in any public place, I am going to smash
them. You might call this my personal war against cellphones, and I
am going to disrupt or destroy as many of them as I can. The only
good cellphone is a broken cellphone, and YOUR cellphone may be the
next one I destroy. I surely hope so....

Take your cellphone and shove it !!!!

Somewhere around Tue, 02 May 2006 03:31:44 -0500, while reading
alt.cellular, I think I thought I saw this post from
destroy.all.cellphones@shove.em.up.your.ass.com:

>I hate cellphones more than I hate anything else in this world...

Wow, I hope you got rid of all that pent up anger by telling your made-up
story.

So, who's next? How about everyone with a ghetto-blaster? Then, everyone
with a car stereo? And then, there's lots of jerks driving cars, why not
get everyone with a car? I once saw an asshole drinking water real noisily,
spilling it all over the floor, slurping, etc. Can you kill all the water
drinkers for me? Wait a minute, that was my teenaged son... oh well, kill
him!

OK, you get the point - it wasn't the cell phone that was the problem, it
was the person attached to it. He would be an asshole no matter what he was
doing, so why blame the phone?

--
Marty - public.forums (at) gmail (dot) com
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...
well, I have others." - Groucho Marx

Can you say anger management? Are you going to slug anybody in your path who is rude and obnoxious? I can't imagine you being able to hold a job steadily if you got one. Please don't ever own a handgun or drive a car if you cannot control the rage within you. NOTHING gives you the right to physically assault somebody UNLESS you are defending your physical body against attack. You have to be responsible for your actions.
If any of your story is true, there were other ways to cope in such a situation besides going postal. Even if the witness has testified in your favor, you would have still been guilty of assault and property damage, no judge or jury would have ruled otherwise. Case closed.

"PrimeWoman" <PrimeWoman.277jw5@nospam.cellphoneforums.net> wrote in message
news:PrimeWoman.277jw5@nospam.cellphoneforums.net. ..
>
> Can you say anger management? Are you going to slug anybody in your
> path who is rude and obnoxious? I can't imagine you being able to
> hold a job steadily if you got one. Please don't ever own a handgun or
> drive a car if you cannot control the rage within you. NOTHING gives
> you the right to physically assault somebody UNLESS you are defending
> your physical body against attack. You have to be responsible for your
> actions.
> If any of your story is true, there were other ways to cope in such a
> situation besides going postal. Even if the witness has testified in
> your favor, you would have still been guilty of assault and property
> damage, no judge or jury would have ruled otherwise. Case closed.

You're probably right. Even under his own version of the facts he would have
been guilty of assault or aggravated assault (the terminology in TX). But
if he could have brought the clerk to testify that cellphone guy was really
obnoxious, it might have helped him get a lighter punishment.

On Tue, 02 May 2006, at 03:31:44 [GMT -0500] (18:31:44 Tuesday, 2 May 2006
where I live) "destroy.all.cellphones@shove.em.up.your.ass.c om" wrote:

> Take your cellphone and shove it !!!!

Good read full of bull ****.

Thought it was a pitch for "open your check book and pray" sort of scam for
a minute!