Press 1 for English

I hate those places that have these computerized menues when I call.
I rewrote them to make more sense.

-----
Press 1 if you speak English --->Proceed with call

Press 2 if you DO NOT speak English ---> (to menu below)

Press 3 if you don't speak any language --->Hang up now.

If you speak Spanish, go back to your own country.
Press 10 if you will go back to Egypt
Press 11 if you will go back to Spain
Press 12 if you will go back to France
Press 13 if you will go back to Japan
Press 14 if you will go back to Mexico
Press 15 if you will go back to Russia
Press 16 if you will go back to Peru
Press 17 if you dont have a clue.

If you speak French, go back to your own country.
Press 20 if you will go back to Holland
Press 21 if you will go back to Germany
Press 22 if you will go back to Poland
Press 23 if you will go back to Africa
Press 24 if you will go back to Venezuala
Press 25 if you will go back to France
Press 26 if you will go back to Indonesia
Press 27 if you dont have a clue.

If you speak German, go back to your own country.
Press 30 if you will go back to Afganistan
Press 31 if you will go back to Germany
Press 32 if you will go back to Korea
Press 33 if you will go back to England
Press 34 if you will go back to Scandinavia
Press 35 if you will go back to China
Press 36 if you will go back to Vietnam
Press 37 if you dont have a clue.

If you speak Chinese, go back to your own country.
Press 40 if you will go back to Chicago
Press 41 if you will go back to Paris
Press 42 if you will go back to Canada
Press 43 if you will go back to Iraq
Press 44 if you will go back to Australia
Press 45 if you will go back to Ethiopia
Press 46 if you will go back to China
Press 47 if you dont have a clue.

ETC ..........

Press 0 if you can not press two buttons, and our computer will press
some for you.

Press * if you really dont care to speak to anyone and only called to
listen to the elevator music. ---> Please hang up your phone now and
go turn on your radio.

OR

Press # if you are intimidated by this message and hang up your phone
immediately. We dont want to intimidate you any further.

<answeringservice@no-one-home.com> wrote in message
news:c2q9b29al6uo30phb0pgttkt5f615i92p5@4ax.com...
>I hate those places that have these computerized menues when I call.
> I rewrote them to make more sense.
>
<SNIP> 1 to save bandwidth 2 to save others from having to read this drivel
again.

Make sense to whom? Most every foreign born person I know can speak
English.
The question is can they UNDERSTAND it?
--
Andrew D. Sisson
LG VX8100 VZW AC II SINCE APRIL 1993
SAMSUNG X497 CINGULAR NATION SINCE MARCH 2006