Pegleg <Pegleg@usnavyret.mil> wrote in
news:u1uub3th0o8emuqns4qsjtc20rvrujj08c@4ax.com:
> On Sun, 12 Aug 2007 19:30:47 +0000, Larry <noone@home.com> wrote:
>
>>I was reading Verizon's new customer agreement looking to see what
>>tricks they're using to keep customers from suing them, now, with a
>>new company policy. I noticed Verizon Wireless now has a whole
>>paragraph telling you you cannot have a booster amp or repeater or
>>anything that'll connect your phone to their system.
>
> Can you copy and paste that paragraph?
>
Go to
http://www.verizonwireless.com/ and scroll to the bottom of the
spam on "Customer Agreement", which is NOT the nearly inaccessible data
customer agreement, but is the one for the phones.
After this document downloads, ad nauseum (you need broadband), look
under the heading:
"Our Rights to Limit or End Service or This Agreement"
where it says, and I quote:
"You agree not to resell our service to someone else without our prior
written permission. You also agree your wireless phone won't be used for
any other purpose that isn't allowed by this agreement or that's illegal.
(ED - I wonder what percentage of VZW's best customers are drug dealers?)
(below here is the quote)*******************************************
You agree that you won't install, deploy, or use any regeneration
equipment or similar mechanism (for example, a repeater) to originate,
amplify, enhance, retransmit or regenerate a transmitted RF signal.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Emphasis added - Ed.
(ED - OK, FESS UP! HOW MANY OF YOU GOT THAT DA4000 LINEAR STASHED UNDER
THE FRONT SEAT OF THE ESCALADE?! COME ON! OUT WID IT! DAMN! And, no
more home repeaters just so you can use your phone in the living room!)
WE CAN, WITHOUT NOTICE, LIMIT, SUSPEND, OR END YOUR SERVICE OR ANY
AGREEMENT WITH YOU FOR THIS OR ANY OTHER GOOD CAUSE, including, but not
limited to: (a) paying late more than once in any 12 months;
(b) incurring charges larger than a required deposit or billing limit
(even if we haven't yet billed the charges);
(ED - This one is interesting! If my deposit was $50 and my cellphone
bill is $79.95, normally, I've incurred charges larger than my deposit!
If I didn't PAY a deposit in the first place, ANY CHARGE BRINGS OUT THE
DEATH SQUADS!
(c) harassing our employees or agents;
(ED - Does that include stealing their chairs so I can sit down while I
wait and wait?? If I steal a chair so the old lady with the cane can sit
down while SHE waits and waits, who get terminated, her or me? She's the
one sitting in it!)
(d) lying to us;
(ED - But not them lying to you, obviously, which is "normal".)
(e) interfering with our operations;
(ED - Damn! No more 50 caliber depleted uranium shots through the cell
cabinets, OR ELSE! You boys quit trying to shoot through the antenna
panels, too!)
(f) breaching this agreement; (g) "spamming," or other abusive messaging
or calling;
(ED - If you use your phone, you've breached this agreement....somewhere.
AND NO MORE SENDING VERIZON NASTY EMAILS OR *****ING TO THE 611
OPERATORS!)
(h) modifying your wireless phone from its manufacturer's specifications;
(ED - This line makes it OK to restore manufacturer features Verizon has
turned off to sell back to you, right??)
(i) providing credit information we can't verify;
(ED - How the hell are YOU supposed to know what credit information those
stupids they hire can't verify, in violation of this contract??)
(j) using your service in a way that adversely affects our network or
other customers
(ED - See? I told you if you turn the damned thing on you breached this
agreement!)
; or (k) allowing anyone to tamper with your wireless phone number.
(ED - Anyone? What about that little nerdy kid at the service counter?
Isn't he "anyone" in the company's eyes? What about the salesgirl
programming in the phone I just bought? She's "anyone"...and a FOX!)
We can also temporarily limit your service for any operational or
governmental reason. If you file for bankruptcy, our rights to limit,
suspend, or end your service or any agreement with you will be governed
by bankruptcy law."
(ED - I brought up the bankruptcy webpage on their demo aircard computer:
http://www.verizonwireless.com/b2c/g...entType=Legal%
20Notice&textId=88
which lists:
"Bankruptcy Contacts at Verizon Wireless
Verizon Wireless Bankruptcy Administration
P.O. Box 3397
Bloomington, IL 61702
Phone: 800-555-8879
Fax: 309-820-7044 "
and asked the dizzy blonde behind the VZW counter, "Is Verizon Wireless
going bankrupt or have they already? I don't wanna buy a phone if it's
not gonna work in a few weeks from now! What's this Bankruptcy
Administration doing, closing the company? Be sure you cash your
paycheck fast!"
Not a single talking head in the shop knew what this meant.....(c;
Tuesdays will never be the same....(c;
Verizon on 611 didn't know, either!
All in good fun. It's a great company, just like GM, Ford, Worldcom, or
any of those other bankrupt assholes that should be in jail ....