Ill pay you for your help! LG LX1200

I am willing to pay good money for any or all of the following hacks:

LG LX1200 phone
1. Text message auto-forwarder
2. Text message stealth saver
3. Voice mail password keylogger
4. Conversation recorder
5. Digital cell phone interceptor (to listen in or record)
6. Send text messages but they will show whatever sending phone number I want. (someone elses)

This is for personal use only, and would be greatly appreciated. (Adultery case)

Youll have to take my word on the payment of course, but It's worth money to me and I need it fast!

thx, joe
send me your email addy so we can chat
P.S. I’m completely green to this stuff

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I am in the USA and will mail a money order btw.