alright i figured it out after some headaches....... this is the easiest simplest way you will find to do this with a usb data cable..... , so hopefully someone in my shoes will read this......
1. download a program called "audacity" (this records any audio played on your pc if you want to make a CUSTOM ringtone)
2. download a program called "bitpim" (this will detect your phone, settings, ringtones, ect...)
both of these programs are easy to use, so play with them, a monkey could figure them out....
use audacity to trim down the mp3 or you can use bitpim to do it for you.... this is fairly easy, and the programs are self explanatory, let me know if you need help....