Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    Alan
    Guest
    Cingular announced today that they have hired Jack Zwick as President of
    Back Orfice Operations. They will use his expertise to complete the
    complicated integration of operations of the various companies it has
    acquired in the past several years. Based on Zwick's apparent lengthy
    experience in such matters, Cingular expects Zwick to complete the task by
    the end of next week. Astonishingly, Zwick will have no employees in his
    division, and will complete the task himself. Cingular hired Zwick sight
    unseen, based on his expertise displayed in extensive writings on the topic
    in internet newsgroups.

    Stock market analysts are excited at the prospect of completion of what,
    according to Zwick, has been an unreasonably delayed project, leading
    customers to "bait and switch" phone plans, unprofessional signage at
    stores, and other purported, but unspecified, problems.





    See More: News: Integration to Completed by the End of Next Week!!!




  2. #2
    Jack Zwick
    Guest

    Re: News: Integration to Completed by the End of Next Week!!!

    In article <[email protected]>, "Alan" <[email protected]>
    wrote: lame attempt at sarcasm

    > Cingular announced today that they have hired Jack Zwick as President of
    > Back Orfice Operations. They will use his expertise to complete the
    > complicated integration of operations of the various companies it has
    > acquired in the past several years. Based on Zwick's apparent lengthy
    > experience in such matters, Cingular expects Zwick to complete the task by
    > the end of next week. Astonishingly, Zwick will have no employees in his
    > division, and will complete the task himself. Cingular hired Zwick sight
    > unseen, based on his expertise displayed in extensive writings on the topic
    > in internet newsgroups.




    Man have you got it backwaards, NAVAS was the one saying it was easy. I
    was the one pointing out theat evry Cingular press release on the
    subject pushes the date of integration further into the future. With
    good reason, they haven't yet integrated the pieces that came together
    to create Cingular.


    >
    > Stock market analysts are excited at the prospect of completion of what,
    > according to Zwick, has been an unreasonably delayed project, leading
    > customers to "bait and switch" phone plans, unprofessional signage at
    > stores, and other purported, but unspecified, problems.


    The lame crooked canvas Cingular sign is still up 2 weeks later, other
    AT&T Wireless stores in Texas dont even have those lame signs.



  3. #3
    Guest

    Re: News: Integration to Completed by the End of Next Week!!!

    On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 18:06:03 GMT, Jack Zwick <[email protected]>
    wrote:

    >In article <[email protected]>, "Alan" <[email protected]>
    >wrote: lame attempt at sarcasm
    >
    >> Cingular announced today that they have hired Jack Zwick as President of
    >> Back Orfice Operations. They will use his expertise to complete the
    >> complicated integration of operations of the various companies it has
    >> acquired in the past several years. Based on Zwick's apparent lengthy
    >> experience in such matters, Cingular expects Zwick to complete the task by
    >> the end of next week. Astonishingly, Zwick will have no employees in his
    >> division, and will complete the task himself. Cingular hired Zwick sight
    >> unseen, based on his expertise displayed in extensive writings on the topic
    >> in internet newsgroups.
    >>
    >> Stock market analysts are excited at the prospect of completion of what,
    >> according to Zwick, has been an unreasonably delayed project, leading
    >> customers to "bait and switch" phone plans, unprofessional signage at
    >> stores, and other purported, but unspecified, problems.


    Hang in ther Jack ... you make sense to me!



  4. #4
    Scott Stephenson
    Guest

    Re: Integration to Completed by the End of Next Week!!!


    "Alan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > Cingular announced today that they have hired Jack Zwick as President of
    > Back Orfice Operations. They will use his expertise to complete the
    > complicated integration of operations of the various companies it has
    > acquired in the past several years. Based on Zwick's apparent lengthy
    > experience in such matters, Cingular expects Zwick to complete the task by
    > the end of next week. Astonishingly, Zwick will have no employees in his
    > division, and will complete the task himself. Cingular hired Zwick sight
    > unseen, based on his expertise displayed in extensive writings on the

    topic
    > in internet newsgroups.
    >
    > Stock market analysts are excited at the prospect of completion of what,
    > according to Zwick, has been an unreasonably delayed project, leading
    > customers to "bait and switch" phone plans, unprofessional signage at
    > stores, and other purported, but unspecified, problems.
    >
    >


    You should have posted more:

    Zwick, a former Sprint PCS and AT&T Wireless subscriber, has shown an
    unrelenting desire to uncover and correct many of the problems purposely
    imposed on customers by the cellular companies. As a result of his
    experience, Cingular announced that he will be responsible for developing
    100% accurate coverage maps with detail at the scale of 1" = 1", and a
    series of subscriber programs, among which are a plan to disconnect all
    subscribers who openly admit their happiness in the service and another plan
    to offer free holiday minutes for any day ending in 'y'. Mr. Zwick will
    also present the quarterly investors' call, again based on his extensive
    writings on the subject. It has been mentioned that Zwick will also publish
    the name and number of every Cingular customer that took advantage of WNLP,
    in an effort to bring credibility to the financial statements of the
    Company.

    In a couple of related announcements, the Texas Attourney General announced
    staff reductions in light of Mr. Zwick's hiring, citing a reduction in
    complaints because of the move. But the AG promised that only the clerk
    assigned to Mr. Zwick's cellular complaints would be affected- the rest of
    the team handling Jack's non-cellular issues will be retained. And Sprint
    PCS, apparently to head off rumors of collusion, released a list of phones
    that they have secretly recalled over the last four years.





  5. #5
    Al Klein
    Guest

    Re: News: Integration to Completed by the End of Next Week!!!

    On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 18:06:03 GMT, Jack Zwick <[email protected]>
    said in alt.cellular.cingular:

    >The lame crooked canvas Cingular sign is still up 2 weeks later, other
    >AT&T Wireless stores in Texas dont even have those lame signs.


    And having a crooked sign over the door affects users of the service
    how?

    Or would you rather they took all the activation clerks in Atlanta and
    sent them around the country straightening signs?



  6. #6
    Desi
    Guest

    Re: News: Integration to Completed by the End of Next Week!!!


    "Al Klein" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 18:06:03 GMT, Jack Zwick <[email protected]>
    > said in alt.cellular.cingular:
    >
    > >The lame crooked canvas Cingular sign is still up 2 weeks later, other
    > >AT&T Wireless stores in Texas dont even have those lame signs.

    >
    > And having a crooked sign over the door affects users of the service
    > how?
    >
    > Or would you rather they took all the activation clerks in Atlanta and
    > sent them around the country straightening signs?


    Maybe they could stop all phone service until the signs are up, straight and
    agree with "Jack's" specifications!





  7. #7
    John Navas
    Guest

    Re: News: Integration to Completed by the End of Next Week!!!

    [POSTED TO alt.cellular.cingular - REPLY ON USENET PLEASE]

    In <[email protected]> on Fri, 3 Dec 2004 12:53:39 -0500, "Alan"
    <[email protected]> wrote:

    >Cingular announced today that they have hired Jack Zwick as President of
    >Back Orfice Operations. They will use his expertise to complete the
    >complicated integration of operations of the various companies it has
    >acquired in the past several years. Based on Zwick's apparent lengthy
    >experience in such matters, Cingular expects Zwick to complete the task by
    >the end of next week. Astonishingly, Zwick will have no employees in his
    >division, and will complete the task himself. Cingular hired Zwick sight
    >unseen, based on his expertise displayed in extensive writings on the topic
    >in internet newsgroups.
    >
    >Stock market analysts are excited at the prospect of completion of what,
    >according to Zwick, has been an unreasonably delayed project, leading
    >customers to "bait and switch" phone plans, unprofessional signage at
    >stores, and other purported, but unspecified, problems.


    ROTFL! [wiping eyes]

    --
    Best regards, HELP FOR CINGULAR GSM & SONY ERICSSON PHONES:
    John Navas <http://navasgrp.home.att.net/#Cingular>



  8. #8
    John Navas
    Guest

    Re: News: Integration to Completed by the End of Next Week!!!

    [POSTED TO alt.cellular.cingular - REPLY ON USENET PLEASE]

    In <[email protected]> on Fri, 03 Dec 2004 18:48:04
    GMT, "<------ Which Way? ------>" <[email protected]> wrote:

    >On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 18:06:03 GMT, Jack Zwick <[email protected]>
    >wrote:
    >
    >>In article <[email protected]>, "Alan" <[email protected]>
    >>wrote: lame attempt at sarcasm
    >>
    >>> Cingular announced today that they have hired Jack Zwick as President of
    >>> Back Orfice Operations. They will use his expertise to complete the
    >>> complicated integration of operations of the various companies it has
    >>> acquired in the past several years. Based on Zwick's apparent lengthy
    >>> experience in such matters, Cingular expects Zwick to complete the task by
    >>> the end of next week. Astonishingly, Zwick will have no employees in his
    >>> division, and will complete the task himself. Cingular hired Zwick sight
    >>> unseen, based on his expertise displayed in extensive writings on the topic
    >>> in internet newsgroups.
    >>>
    >>> Stock market analysts are excited at the prospect of completion of what,
    >>> according to Zwick, has been an unreasonably delayed project, leading
    >>> customers to "bait and switch" phone plans, unprofessional signage at
    >>> stores, and other purported, but unspecified, problems.

    >
    >Hang in ther Jack ... you make sense to me!


    "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." Although Jack is doing his best
    to disprove that.

    --
    Best regards, HELP FOR CINGULAR GSM & SONY ERICSSON PHONES:
    John Navas <http://navasgrp.home.att.net/#Cingular>



  9. #9
    Alan
    Guest

    Re: News: Integration to Completed by the End of Next Week!!!


    "John Navas" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > [POSTED TO alt.cellular.cingular - REPLY ON USENET PLEASE]
    >
    > In <[email protected]> on Fri, 3 Dec 2004 12:53:39 -0500,

    "Alan"
    > <[email protected]> wrote:
    >
    > >Cingular announced today that they have hired Jack Zwick as President of
    > >Back Orfice Operations. They will use his expertise to complete the
    > >complicated integration of operations of the various companies it has
    > >acquired in the past several years. Based on Zwick's apparent lengthy
    > >experience in such matters, Cingular expects Zwick to complete the task

    by
    > >the end of next week. Astonishingly, Zwick will have no employees in his
    > >division, and will complete the task himself. Cingular hired Zwick sight
    > >unseen, based on his expertise displayed in extensive writings on the

    topic
    > >in internet newsgroups.
    > >
    > >Stock market analysts are excited at the prospect of completion of what,
    > >according to Zwick, has been an unreasonably delayed project, leading
    > >customers to "bait and switch" phone plans, unprofessional signage at
    > >stores, and other purported, but unspecified, problems.

    >
    > ROTFL! [wiping eyes]


    Thought you might enjoy it...

    >
    > --
    > Best regards, HELP FOR CINGULAR GSM & SONY ERICSSON PHONES:
    > John Navas <http://navasgrp.home.att.net/#Cingular>






  • Similar Threads