"What Your Car Says About You..."

Acura Integra - I have always wanted
to own the Buick of sports cars.

Acura Legend - I'm too bland for
German cars.

Acura NSX - I am impotent.

Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires.

Buick Park Avenue - I am older than
34 of the 50 states.

Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good
Mary Kay salesman.

Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp.

Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating
the hell out of people.

Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing
people's reactions when I tell them
have a 'Vette.

Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life

Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a
militia to overthrow the government.

Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich
Corinthian leather.

Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine
in my wheel well.

Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special
education, and I voted for Eisenhower.

Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for
four years to get this car.

Ferrari Testarossa - I am known to
prematurely ejaculate.

Ford Explorer - I will not be caught dead
in a mini van.

Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart).

Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in
school zones.

Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having
people slow to 55 mph and change
lanes when I pull up behind them.

Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade
in the fall.

Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade
in the fall.

Honda del Sol - I have always said, half
a convertible is better than no
convertible at all.

Honda Civic - I have just graduated and
have no credit.

Honda Accord - I lack any originality and
am basically a lemming.

Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17
malpractice suits pending.

Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a damn
about J.D. Power or his reports.

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