under th radar( big green bud found )

th heat's calmed down a bit
dropped off at lunch time today


i ended up on this massive roof

with umpteen barges to paint

the edge dear

got green
and some salmony colour paint
hangin off me everywhere


some of th boys in th industry
are shavin legs and arms

th plastic paint we use these days
thick as membranes

can be a bastard to get out of hair
bit like gettin a wax
every day


gettin ****in brown


got a new two dollar fence painting brush

it aint bad

does nice cut edges

thunder storms dragged us off th roof today

just before three

too many drops fallin from th sky
and th wind went nuts

watchin th collection of
bmw's and mercedes drive past
expensive suburb

no holdens or falcons

****in toffee noses

it's a depressing place


masking th upper story of a house this morning
so th guys can spray it

cute owner
"****in oath"
"nearly off th roof"

"was she a photgrapher ?"
i didnt look

was his take
freaked enough by camera clickers at th moment

caught myself whistling
not unusual while i mask
layin upside up th roof
stickin sheets of newspaper to th walls

kept my voice down for a change
it wasnt a friday thank god

couldnt stop th whistling

was doin like
singin background
"makin up songs"

she was pretty

heard one i liked anyway

came up with an A
and a B

and tossed it around for a while

flew into th bridge and

where th **** am i ?

one of th boys talkin to me

was hot as still

and th pretty lady is fussy
stop readin th paper while ya wait for me
to clear this corner

or i'll hang em upside down
<<< smile >>>

you try rushin in 30 plus heat
couldnt see past th sweat

we were havin smoko
she gets back home

yur pool's lookin cloudy
have a wee rave

th shop tests dont show anythin wrong

hang on a tic
i went and had a drink of it

low on chlorine love

tastes sweet though

<<< smile >>>


if it aint makin my eyes sting
it's not over chlorinated

and with our heat

th chlorine disappears fast


ah ****

a doco about a paper in iran

followin a photo journalist


where are th drugs ?
"ya wouldnt look"

gorgeous accent
ah well

i'm th edge painter

i paint what you see from th ground

th artist

they spray all th flat areas

they dont think art

i wanna see it looks pretty when i leave

we knew you had an artists eye
we know ppl

can tell by what ya see from th ground

what's bothering you


"top half went in th pool"
was ****in hot when i got off

it was a nice morning
<<< smile >>>


next one was higher up
and in

another of th affluent suburbs

just dont ask me about it in real life ok

i was never there


we call em th effluent suburbs
cause their collective **** dont stink

and they got better water pressure
so they can flush it away

**** man
that's th fifth bmw to drive by in

twenty minutes

this is a ****in side street

then a bmw backed out of th house acrooss th road

and i had to stop to have a giggle

hang on

im in australia



i drive a ford falcon

's nearly amercian

but we at least call it our own car



my car cost like

cheap baby


drives like a limo

my little brother spent for th month of january
on runnin repairs

on his
imported land rover


i could throw mine away
and buy another one

these are still common



he killed his last falcon
hard on vehicles


****s me


i found this massive bud

all naked and alone

not in a baggie man

drivin home from

the valley of th mansions

just sittin in my car seat cover

cant have that

i was well out of it
by th time i got home

found one of little brothers car mags
read for ten mintues and


been ****in hot
no=-one's been sleepin good

we been resistin th
air conditioner

**** man

ya go to a dive

standard five hipper

th low end of town

bein rebuilt

into somethin else

rendering th walls and installing air conditioners

we lift a tile generally

and see when th house was built

got dates

and look at some of th shoddy business practises
we witnessed in th building game
in th 70's and 80's

said then
that aint gunna last

th old man was a builder

see everything that's built

when i'm on a roof

i look at eye lines

what does th eye see ?


when a neighbour
has watched ya go thru th process

washing and cleaning

and then

puttin paint all over it
and comes up and

looks nice
will ya come pay me a visit ?

some streets

i sit on th roof

and see

seven houses

all referrals from th first one in th street

with rooves

th golden rule is


what's it look like

from fifty feet away

at sixty k's

we mix imperial and metric

havent quite changed over yet

kids in aus

know what four feet is

call it one and a third metres

see she has got a kid

"<<< smile >>>"


i dunno


i get a bit covered in it

but then

im a street entertainer

i used to paint my skin on purpose

and go ride unicycles thru th nightclubbing crowd

fun as


"all of last week"
we didnt paint

havent in a while

"might just leave this lot on"
sticky enough


unicycle sitting in th front seat of th falcon

got pride of place


ya have to have good balance

otherwise ya go off th edge


"rod's got some straight work"

**** that
im in th black economy
see my skin ?


"We work saturday ?"
dunno till fri night

nother fella

<<< smile >>>

th year has begun


fired up late this year


"if we work sat what ya wanna do ?
go surfin
"unicycle surfin"
**** em


"Singin ?"
did it last week




"spokes are rusting"
pay the rego on th car
i'll buy another unicycle

"deans crank aint ****ed this time"
"he smashed a bearing"

<<< smile >>>

im proud of that boy

no dear
that arent meant for that


six inch bunny hops
from a 84 kilo boy

i can do em but
im 65 kilo

same bearings

just not built for it

if he wants to ride hard

he'll have to build stronger beasts

or learn mechanical sympathy


i dont to need ride everyday anymore
it's just there

edgier if ya havent been on for a week

get nicely toasted and

put on some good music and

fly th unicycle

im spoilin myself at th moment

only ridin it
in nice places

dont need to do rides around th block

abs are already workin

come about friday though

i dunno

maybe th long abandoned hornibrook highway bridge

run over and back every now and then

if i can cross

in a decent wind

without stoppin

im feelin good

but ya dont wanna think about it
cause then ya do fall

just let it happen




"and lies"

"<<< smile >>>"


"fell off on th way over last time"
"couple of k's of bouncy unicyclin in th wind"

was well out of it
hadnt done it in a while
and was thinkin about it

crossed back just fine
"after tellin th young fella th creed"

we didnt mention th drugs though
to make things



more drugs over here


i liek life


just smokin my big green bud


"catch of th moment"
what she said on th telly
about fish


go away jennifer


"determined to stay single"

"ya know ya wrote last night"
"big wet gaping vagina"


"corrinne did that havin a baby skit on rove live"


"she said she was single"

oh dear


she's on two stations now

bubblie girl


corrine with her legs over ears

we know ya wanna see that

man it's so subtle


**** i laughed


sorry corinne
was a cheap shot


"got child bearin hips that woman"
"gunna rip that plastic baby outta there"
"and try for a real one"

ya talk big


"just takin off tarz"


"when we goin to **** jane again ?"


goin to music
fancy askin synchronicity ?


"random all music"
"spin on"


"god send me an angel track no01"


"i had fun whistling this morning"

no different to singin background

just makin it up as we go along

"found some phrases i liked"
"one i wanna sing"

no differnce between a voicebox and a whistle
more flexible than th pottery ocarina hangin around yur neck
gettin paint on it

"travel ocarina"
"make me a new one paulie"

i wanna fix my old peace travelling ocarina
same as this one

dental plastic in th top

someone yanked on it
and took out th necklace holder

"in bed"

<<< smile >>>

they get in th road
forget yur wearin em

"it's happy rock clay isnt it ?"

<<< smile >>>

kadeetcha man makin pottery ocarinas in th bush
to give to my tribe

with a bit of local ground magic thrown in


"02 one day"






i havent given you yur
21st present yet
pretty goth girl

th inspiration will cum

another mad artist



happy rock clay


shakespears sister
"01 i dont care"


i wanna go for a fly


little brothe rjust yelled out

put on seven

zero hour ?

reneactment of one of th planes
that went into th tower




flight 11


"no batteries"

****in mp3 player is voracious

i aint payin five bucks at this time of night


"should buy another that comes with rechargable batteries"


a waterproof one
****in surf gives me th willies
yur gunna kill my music arent ya ya bastard

every crash in th surf
is like

pls not again

im payin for this ****


ya do what ya can


it's all good


its been a couple of years since i trashed a music maker in th surf
those walkman's didnt like surf much

<<< smile >>>

the land surfer dude



i dont trust current affairs programs

they mistake skatebikes for unicycles

and label ppl beyond their abilities

ya know he killed himself ray

the unicycle man of byron bay


he couldnt wear his label

it wasnt a name he called himself

least wise

not when i met th man and rode a unicycle with him

playin tiggy in th carpark

we understood each other

kinda wish i hadnt taken a chick with me
ah well


she wont let me ****"


he was a nice fella
the uncicyle man of byron bay

said he lived in a kombi
offered my good lady and i
a kombi for th night too

ah babe
ya yuppie *****

she preferrs to **** in a water bed man
what can i say ?

<<<< smile >>>

i didnt say that

just called her a surfers paradise girl

we spent enough time there


"A song called everything"


you tried brother
we havent forgotten ya

was an interesting conversation

i dedicated htat gig
at th tyalgum hall

to you

hundered smilin kids

i thought more appropriate

than me ridin a unicycle in th surf and surfin

in front of th pub

one day though

i'lsneak thru

hear there's a unicyclist down there

i know about him

spotted him inth street

lookin for th dude on th telly

bailed outta th car
see ya morticia

ill find ya at th pub

and off like a jackrabbit
into th traffic

took too long to park
and he wasnt th guy i was lookin for

or was he ?

the unicycle man of byron bay

cept he could ride a unicycle
and probly preferred ridin it
to makin other ppl smile

george carlin
"life's little moments"

i alternate
i figure it's balance


i think deano
is up to takin on th surf

"i concurr"

maybe this sunday's
family day

i'll make on a bigger beach

you wanna come young fella

you ride a wheel

no girls bikes

this is boys bikes only

if it aint ridin one wheel
it's walkin

and carryin th gear

led zeppelin
"ramble on"

this is a fat song

to surf too

got a kicky rhythm

gets th flywheel fairly spinnin

stuff it in a wave and


turbo boost

we're in th wave

to th shore

and pull up and

mp3 player on th shore

im here to crash
or fall down trying

it's ****in hot

rhythm stil playin in my head
i'm a musician

sing on street corners

and drum

that wave was a little big


pretty lady

seem to have splashed you there

no man
this is how ya splash pretty girls

lesson one:

how to splash pretty girls

See More: how to splash pretty girls