Telstra boldly launches the BlackBerry Bold... first

From
http://www.itwire.com/content/view/20087/1103/

Telecommunications, an ever expanding frontier. This is the latest chapter
in the voyages of the Starship Telstra, it's continuing mission to deliver
new handsets, to seek out new customers and extend existing contracts, and
to boldly go where its competitors will soon follow: the launch of the
BlackBerry Bold!

First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian marketplace is
the dominant local telco, Telstra, to "selected business customers", all of
whom are expected to be human (because Klingons, Ferengi, Vulcans, Romulans,
Andorians and others are but characters on a certain well known sci-fi
show).

Arriving at warp speed over the weekend on a special shipment from Europe
(because reliable teleportation doesn't yet exist), Telstra says it has
taken this special action "to meet high demand from customers" - and no
doubt to be able to issue a "we're first" press release which is being
science fictionalised with every passing word.

Set to retail for AUD $999, the Bold is also available on a range of plans
to suit "enterprise and business customers' needs", although one of the most
popular will likely be Telstra's standard $80 plan over 24 monthly stardate
cycles, (min cost $1920 plus usage) although this plan does not include
email access, which is as important to the BlackBerry as dilithium crystals
are to Starships.

Telstra says it has also has an "exclusive email plan offer on the $89.95
BlackBerry email plan for customers connecting 24 months with existing
BlackBerry Enterprise Solution software including 200MB of data free for the
first 2 months (after which excess usage charges apply), with a minimum cost
of $2158.80 plus usage. After the first two months, standard PAYG charges
apply.

While these prices seem high enough that you'll need to live long and
prosper to pay them off, they're quite standard prices for today's stellar
smartphones.

That said I can cetainly imagine the Ferengi wanting to strike a bargain for
a better rate, although even the Ferengi would undoubtedly find Telstra to
be a formidable and likely unmoving negotiator.

Telstra also tries its own Corbomite Maneuvre by suggesting that "there are
additional benefits for customers who move their BlackBerry services back to
Telstra."

A BlackBerry Bold shimmered its way into my life a few days ago when a
review model materialised (thanks to the rather archaic technology of the
physical courier) and I've had a chance to have a play with what is arguably
the galaxy's best handheld email "communicator".

Its beautiful screen seems less than half the size of the iPhone's, but has
the same resolution, delivering stunning image quality, while its 3G chipset
makes for fast email and web page delivery.

Powered-up with HTML email capability, the bland text emails of the past are
no longer, with HTML emails delivering the much richer experience we're used
to on desktop computers.

---

› See More: Telstra boldly launches the BlackBerry Bold... first

Wota packa wankers...

Alan Poxington <wanker@iarsethiscountry,com.au> wrote

> From
> http://www.itwire.com/content/view/20087/1103/

> Telecommunications, an ever expanding frontier.

Must be one of those rocket scientist wankers.

> This is the latest chapter in the voyages of the Starship Telstra,

Wota ****ing wanker...

> it's continuing mission to deliver new handsets,

Corse no one else ever does anything like that, eh ?

> to seek out new customers and extend existing contracts,

Corse no one else ever does anything like that, eh ?

> and to boldly go where its competitors will soon
> follow: the launch of the BlackBerry Bold!

Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child.

> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian marketplace

Not with the iphone they werent.

> is the dominant local telco, Telstra,

Thanks for that completely superfluous proof that you have never ever had a ****ing clue.

> to "selected business customers",

Translation: Telstra got **** all of them.

> all of whom are expected to be human (because Klingons,
> Ferengi, Vulcans, Romulans, Andorians and others are but characters on a certain well known sci-fi show).

Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child.

> Arriving at warp speed over the weekend

Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child.

> on a special shipment from Europe (because reliable teleportation doesn't yet exist),

Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child.

> Telstra says it has taken this special action "to meet high demand from customers"

Translation: Telstra is WAY behind the market, as always.

> - and no doubt to be able to issue a "we're first" press release which is being science fictionalised with every
> passing word.

Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child.

> Set to retail for AUD $999,

You'll have to pardon us if we dont actually swoon, child.

> the Bold is also available on a range of plans to suit "enterprise and business customers' needs",

Translation: Just another obscene Telstra ripoff.

> although one of the most popular will likely be Telstra's standard $80 plan over 24 monthly stardate cycles,

Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child.

> (min cost $1920 plus usage)

Wota ****ing ripoff.

> although this plan does not include email access,

Just another spectacular footshot.

> which is as important to the BlackBerry as dilithium crystals are to Starships.

Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child.

> Telstra says it has also has an "exclusive email plan offer on the
> $89.95 BlackBerry email plan for customers connecting 24 months with existing BlackBerry Enterprise Solution software
> including 200MB of data free for the first 2 months (after which excess usage charges apply), with a minimum cost of
> $2158.80 plus usage. After the first two months, standard PAYG charges apply.

Wota ****ing ripoff.

> While these prices seem high enough that you'll need to live long and prosper to pay them off, they're quite standard
> prices for today's stellar smartphones.

Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child.

> That said I can cetainly imagine the Ferengi wanting to strike a
> bargain for a better rate, although even the Ferengi would undoubtedly find Telstra to be a formidable and likely
> unmoving negotiator.

Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child.

> Telstra also tries its own Corbomite Maneuvre by suggesting that
> "there are additional benefits for customers who move their
> BlackBerry services back to Telstra."

Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child.

> A BlackBerry Bold shimmered its way into my life a few days ago

Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child.

> when a review model materialised (thanks to the rather archaic technology of the physical courier)

Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child.

> and I've had a chance to have a play with what is arguably the galaxy's best handheld email "communicator".

Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child.

> Its beautiful screen seems less than half the size of the iPhone's,

Just another steaming turd.

> but has the same resolution, delivering stunning image quality, while its 3G chipset makes for fast email and web page
> delivery.

You'll have to pardon us if we dont actually cream our jeans, child.

> Powered-up with HTML email capability, the bland text emails of the past are no longer, with HTML emails delivering
> the much richer experience we're used to on desktop computers.

Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child.

On Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:02:02 GMT "Alan Parkington"
<aparkington@iheartthiscountry,com.au> wrote:

> Telecommunications, an ever expanding frontier. This is the latest
> chapter in the voyages of the Starship Telstra

Wank extraordinaire!

>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian marketplace
>
> Not with the iphone they werent.

they launched iphone same day as everyone else, roddles on a plate

Michael <[email protected]> wrote:

>>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian marketplace

>> Not with the iphone they werent.

> they launched iphone same day as everyone else,

Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning ****wit child.

On Mon, 18 Aug 2008 20:40:38 +1000, Polly the Parrot wrote:

> On Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:02:02 GMT "Alan Parkington"
> <aparkington@iheartthiscountry,com.au> wrote:
>
>> Telecommunications, an ever expanding frontier. This is the latest
>> chapter in the voyages of the Starship Telstra
>
> Wank extraordinaire!

The same "reporter" (Alex Zaharov-Reutt) regularly clarifies in his
articles that 3's Marketing Director, Noel Hamill, is "no relation to
Mark Hamill of Star Wars fame".

http://www.itwire.com/content/view/19050/1103/

Noel Hamill, Director Sales, Marketing & Product at 3, no relation to
Star Wars actor Mark Hamill of Luke Skywalker fame, explained that: “Ever
since Apple’s announcement that a 3G iPhone is coming, we’ve had lots of
calls and emails – the main flavour is people wanting to get the value
that 3 offers with the iPhone.”

http://www.itwire.com/content/view/19700/1103/

Noel Hamill, Director Sales, Marketing and Product at 3 Mobile, and no
known relation to Mark Hamill of Star Wars fame said: “3’s customers want
great value on data and they want to use more of it – so bringing them
better value with more data allowances is something we believe in.
Whether you’re using the internet on your mobile phone or on your laptop,
we think these new options will be a good match.”

http://www.itwire.com/content/view/19753/1103/1/1/

Noel Hamill, Director Sales, Marketing and Product, 3, and sadly, of no
known relation to Mark Hamill of Star Wars fame, said: “3’s all about
great voice and data value. With the 3G SIM and Data Starter Kit we think
Apple’s 3G iPhone customers will be able to get more use of their iPhone
on 3, with much more value to those living in our Broadband Zones.”

It’s a shame that Noel doesn’t have a lightsaber to hand because he could
then slice through those horrible roaming data charges that are the bane
of 3 Mobile customers and make me think twice about the true value of
this plan, because of the unpredictable additional costs.

On Mon, 18 Aug 2008 21:10:29 +0000, Horry wrote:

> On Mon, 18 Aug 2008 20:40:38 +1000, Polly the Parrot wrote:
>
>> On Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:02:02 GMT "Alan Parkington"
>> <aparkington@iheartthiscountry,com.au> wrote:
>>
>>> Telecommunications, an ever expanding frontier. This is the latest
>>> chapter in the voyages of the Starship Telstra
>>
>> Wank extraordinaire!
>
> The same "reporter" (Alex Zaharov-Reutt) regularly clarifies in his
> articles that 3's Marketing Director, Noel Hamill, is "no relation to
> Mark Hamill of Star Wars fame".
>
> http://www.itwire.com/content/view/19050/1103/
>
> Noel Hamill, Director Sales, Marketing & Product at 3, no relation to
> Star Wars actor Mark Hamill of Luke Skywalker fame, explained that:
> “Ever since Apple’s announcement that a 3G iPhone is coming, we’ve had
> lots of calls and emails – the main flavour is people wanting to get the
> value that 3 offers with the iPhone.”
>
> http://www.itwire.com/content/view/19700/1103/
>
> Noel Hamill, Director Sales, Marketing and Product at 3 Mobile, and no
> known relation to Mark Hamill of Star Wars fame said: “3’s customers
> want great value on data and they want to use more of it – so bringing
> them better value with more data allowances is something we believe in.
> Whether you’re using the internet on your mobile phone or on your
> laptop, we think these new options will be a good match.”
>
> http://www.itwire.com/content/view/19753/1103/1/1/
>
> Noel Hamill, Director Sales, Marketing and Product, 3, and sadly, of no
> known relation to Mark Hamill of Star Wars fame, said: “3’s all about
> great voice and data value. With the 3G SIM and Data Starter Kit we
> think Apple’s 3G iPhone customers will be able to get more use of their
> iPhone on 3, with much more value to those living in our Broadband
> Zones.”
>
> It’s a shame that Noel doesn’t have a lightsaber to hand because he
> could then slice through those horrible roaming data charges that are
> the bane of 3 Mobile customers and make me think twice about the true
> value of this plan, because of the unpredictable additional costs.

Found another one.

http://www.itwire.com/content/view/18405/1103/1/1/

Hamill, likely no relation to Mark of Star Wars fame, said: "Business
take up of mobile broadband is growing rapidly because small business
owners and executives want to get online on the move, without an
expensive plan and with a device that's really easy to use and looks
good. Style is getting to be an important factor, just like it is with a
mobile phone."

"Rod Speed" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Michael <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>>>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian marketplace
>
>>> Not with the iphone they werent.
>
>> they launched iphone same day as everyone else,
>
> Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate
> lying dunny cleaning ****wit child.
>
what, you are trying to say that optus sold them at 11pm the night before so
that means telstra didn;t launch them on day 1?


** Posted from http://www.teranews.com **

"Will Kemp" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Horry wrote:
>> On Mon, 18 Aug 2008 20:40:38 +1000, Polly the Parrot wrote:
>>
>>> On Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:02:02 GMT "Alan Parkington"
>>> <aparkington@iheartthiscountry,com.au> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Telecommunications, an ever expanding frontier. This is the latest
>>>> chapter in the voyages of the Starship Telstra
>>> Wank extraordinaire!
>>
>> The same "reporter" (Alex Zaharov-Reutt) regularly clarifies in his
>> articles that 3's Marketing Director, Noel Hamill, is "no relation to
>> Mark Hamill of Star Wars fame".
>
> No doubt in the hope that search engines will send people to his articles
> who didn't really want to go there.

No other way of getting people to read his ****-rags. I think the guy
fantasizes of bum-****ing Hammill.


** Posted from http://www.teranews.com **

thegoons <[email protected]> wrote
> Rod Speed <[email protected]> wrote
>> Michael <[email protected]> wrote

>>>>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian marketplace

>>>> Not with the iphone they werent.

>>> they launched iphone same day as everyone else,

>> Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning ****wit child.

> what, you are trying to say that optus sold them at 11pm the night
> before so that means telstra didn;t launch them on day 1?

Nope, not saying anything even remote resembling anything like that, ****wit.

"Rod Speed" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Michael <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>>>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian marketplace
>
>>> Not with the iphone they werent.
>
>> they launched iphone same day as everyone else,
>
> Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate
> lying dunny cleaning ****wit child.

Sure they did. 11 July

"thegoons" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "Rod Speed" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>> Michael <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>>>>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian marketplace
>>
>>>> Not with the iphone they werent.
>>
>>> they launched iphone same day as everyone else,
>>
>> Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely
>> illiterate lying dunny cleaning ****wit child.
>>
> what, you are trying to say that optus sold them at 11pm the night before
> so that means telstra didn;t launch them on day 1?

God knows what he is one about. When he doesnt take the pills, he gets VERY
vague** Posted from http://www.teranews.com **

Michael <[email protected]> wrote:
> "thegoons" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>>
>> "Rod Speed" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>> news:[email protected]...
>>> Michael <[email protected]> wrote:
>>>
>>>>>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian
>>>>>> marketplace
>>>
>>>>> Not with the iphone they werent.
>>>
>>>> they launched iphone same day as everyone else,
>>>
>>> Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely
>>> illiterate lying dunny cleaning ****wit child.
>>>
>> what, you are trying to say that optus sold them at 11pm the night
>> before so that means telstra didn;t launch them on day 1?

> God knows what he is one about.

I'm not one about anything, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate dunny cleaning ****wit child.

<reams of your deriviative **** flushed where it belongs>

Michael <[email protected]> wrote:
> "Rod Speed" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>> Michael <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>>>>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian
>>>>> marketplace
>>
>>>> Not with the iphone they werent.
>>
>>> they launched iphone same day as everyone else,
>>
>> Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely
>> illiterate lying dunny cleaning ****wit child.

> Sure they did. 11 July

Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely
illiterate lying dunny cleaning ****wit child.

"Rod Speed" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Michael <[email protected]> wrote:
>> "Rod Speed" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>> news:[email protected]...
>>> Michael <[email protected]> wrote:
>>>
>>>>>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian
>>>>>> marketplace
>>>
>>>>> Not with the iphone they werent.
>>>
>>>> they launched iphone same day as everyone else,
>>>
>>> Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely
>>> illiterate lying dunny cleaning ****wit child.
>
>> Sure they did. 11 July
>
> Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely
> illiterate lying dunny cleaning ****wit child.

Guy on my floor was the first person to buy an iphone on July 11.

Refer MX newspaper - he was on the cover