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  1. #1
    jeaniesing
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    I got this in an email... from a student nonetheless (thanks BK)... BUT, its the first time I've read it and it's got some good points to make to one's chosen partner !

    <insert PSA about safe sex here>

    1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.
    =============
    2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
    =============
    3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.
    =============
    4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!
    =============
    5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
    =============
    6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
    =============
    7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
    =============
    8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
    =============
    9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
    =============
    10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.
    =============

    <re-emphasize that this thread is condoning only safe-sex> !

    I always thought that "I have a headache" line was a load of crap ...


    See More: "Sex is good for you" (PG-13)




  2. #2
    Mark
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    There was a thing like this on the radio ages ago, and i remember the headache one, great to keep in the pocket for backup if she ever uses it

    But the ones about it keeping you healthy are the best excuse, i mean reason.



  3. #3
    jeaniesing
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    Y'know - they didn't mention that its been proven that frequent sex is good for Prostate health!



  4. #4
    Mark
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    Hmmm,All good things must come to an end i suppose!



  5. #5
    jeaniesing
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    ...how is that an end dearie? I said "good for"... ita biggie for you guys! The list is female-centric.



  6. #6
    glbbk20
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    Here are a couple of clean sex jokes just to keep the thread going:

    One day, a recently married man goes to the attic of his new home to put a few things in storage. While he is there, he notices a large steamer trunk sitting in the corner. When he tries to open it, he finds it is locked. Puzzled and curious, he calls his new bride up to the attic and
    asks her about the trunk.

    She tells him that it is hers and that it only contains some personal things. He accepts her answer and eventually forgets all about the matter.

    Three years later when he is cleaning out the attic, he runs across the trunk and again asks his wife what's in it. She again tells him that it contains only personal things, but this time he is more persistent. So she sits him down and reminds him that she makes him happy when he's feeling down, that she keeps the house meticulously clean, that she
    cooks him fantastic meals 7 days a week, and that she gives him all the sex he wants, anytime he wants it. Then she tells him if he is happy with all of those things, that he should forget about the trunk because she will not talk about it. "Fair enough," says the husband, and he finishes
    cleaning out the attic.

    On their 25th wedding anniversary, he pulls the trunk down the stairs, into the middle of the living room floor, and calls to his wife. "Honey," he says, "we've been married for 25 years and I think it's time we had a heart-to-heart talk. What the hell is in that trunk?" The wife immediately protests, reminding him once again about the clean house, the good food and the great sex. "I don't care," he tells her. "After 25 years we ought to be able to talk about anything. Now open this goddamn trunk!"

    So, she takes a key from a chain hanging around her neck and opens the trunk. Inside is three ears of corn and 25
    thousand dollars in cash.

    "Jesus Christ!" shouts the surprised husband. "What's going on here? Where did all of this come from?"

    "Well, sweetie," replies the wife, "you said we could talk, so I'll tell you what you want to know. Over the years, I tried to stay faithful to you, but I wasn't always successful. Every time that I cheated on you, I put an ear of corn into the trunk."

    The husband cannot believe the shocking confession that he
    has just heard, but after mulling it over in his mind for a few moments he says to his wife, "All right, I admit I'm not too thrilled about this, but I did say we should be honest with each other, and I guess I can live with three incidents of infidelity in 25 years. But where did all the money come from?"

    "Well," she replies, "whenever the trunk got full, I sold the corn.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------
    Becky was on her deathbed, with her husband Jake at her side. He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face. Her pale lips moved.

    "Jake," she said.

    "Hush," he quickly interrupted, "don't talk." But she insisted.

    "Jake," she said in her tired voice. "I have to talk. I must
    confess."

    "There is nothing to confess," said the weeping Jake. "It's all right. Everything's all right."

    "No, no. I must die in peace. I must confess, Jake, that I have been unfaithful to you."

    Jake stroked her hand. "Now, Becky, don't be concerned. I know all about it", he sobbed. "Why else would I poison you?"



  7. #7
    glbbk20
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    Why did the blonde have square boobs?

    She forgot to take the tissue out of the box.
    -----------------------------------------------------
    Q: Why do women fake orgasms?

    A: They think we care.
    ------------------------------------------------------
    What do blondes and cow patties have in common?

    The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
    -----------------------------------------------------
    Not sex but funny vv
    An Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

    Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly woman whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

    DEAREST WIFE:

    JUST GOT CHECKED IN. EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.

    YOUR LOVING HUSBAND

    P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE



  8. #8
    glbbk20
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    Jack goes to the doctor and says "Doc I'm having trouble getting my penis erect, can you help me?"

    After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, "Well the problem is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There's really nothing I can do for you unless you're willing to try an experimental treatment."

    Jack asks sadly, "And that would be?"

    "Well," the Doctor explains, "What we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of a baby elephant and implant them in your penis."

    Jack thinks about it silently then says, "Well the thought of going through life without ever having sex again is too much, let's go for it."

    Jack went under the knife, and, after a period of recovery and healing, returned to the Doc for his blessing. Following the examination, the Doc pronounced Jack "healed and ready for action".

    Eager to use his experimentally enhanced equipment, Jack planned a romantic evening for his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in town, anticipating a happy conclusion to the evening.

    In the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legs that continued to the point of being painful.

    To release the pressure, Jack placed his napkin on his lap and unzipped his fly. His penis immediately sprung from his pants, flipped the napkin on the floor, went to the top of the table, grabbed a bread roll and then returned to his pants!

    His girlfriend was stunned at first but then, imagining the possibilities, said with a sly smile and a gleam in her eye, "That was incredible! Can you do it again?"

    Jack groaned, "Probably, but I don't think I can fit another roll in my ass." -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Titanic Video vs Clinton Video

    TITANIC VIDEO: $9.99 on Internet.
    CLINTON VIDEO: $9.99 on Internet.

    TITANIC VIDEO: Over 3 hours long.
    CLINTON VIDEO: Over 3 hours long.

    TITANIC VIDEO: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe.
    CLINTON VIDEO: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe.

    TITANIC VIDEO: Villain: White Star Line.
    CLINTON VIDEO: Villain: Ken Starr.

    TITANIC VIDEO: Jack is a starving artist.
    CLINTON VIDEO: Bill is a B.S. artist.

    TITANIC VIDEO: In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
    CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Bill.

    TITANIC VIDEO: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
    CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Monica.

    TITANIC VIDEO: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
    CLINTON VIDEO: Let's not go there.

    TITANIC VIDEO: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
    CLINTON VIDEO: Monica's forced to return her gifts.

    TITANIC VIDEO: Behind the scenes: Leonardo DiCaprio is wildly popular.
    CLINTON VIDEO: Behind the scenes: Bill Clinton's approval rating is at 70 percent.

    TITANIC VIDEO: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
    CLINTON VIDEO: Bill goes home to Hillary.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    THE BOYFRIEND

    A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red ''H'' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor.

    "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he''s so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.

    A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue ''Y'' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he''s so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.

    A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green ''M'' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.

    "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do you ask?"
    hahaha



  9. #9
    glbbk20
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    A husband and wife and their two sons are watching TV. She looks at her husband and winks at him, he gets the message and says, "Excuse us for a few minutes boys, we're going up to our room for a little while."

    Pretty soon one of the boys becomes curious, goes upstairs and sees the door to his parents bedroom is ajar. He peeks in for a few minutes, trots downstairs, gets his little brother and takes him up to peek into the bedroom.

    "Before you look in there," he says, "keep in mind this is the same woman who paddled our butts just for sucking our thumbs."
    -------------------------------------------------------------
    "Wendy"
    ________________________________

    There's a guy named John, and he has a girlfriend named Wendy. John loves Wendy a lot. To prove how much he loves her, he gets "Wendy" tattooed on his penis. When it's erect, it says her name, and when deflated, it reads "Wy".

    So, when she sees her name on his masculine member, she is overwhelmed.

    He pops the question, and she accepts.

    They decide to go to Jamaica for their honeymoon. Once there, they try out all the local culture, including a nude beach. They are having a great time, when John decides to get up from sunbathing and get something to drink at the beach bar.

    He walks over to the bar with his deflated love muscle, trying not to let his eye wander and end up embarrassing himself. He orders a drink from the guy at the bar, who is also naked. He is surprised to note that the bartender also has "Wy" tattooed on his penis! John says to the guy, "Wow, what a coincidence. So, you have a girlfriend named ''Wendy'' and her name is tattooed on your dick too?" The bartender looks slowly down at John's thing, back to his and starts laughing. Flashing a wide grin, he says, "No, mon. Mine says ''Welcome to Jamaica. Have a nice day.''"
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    There's a student in medical school who wants to specialize in sexual disorders, so he makes arrangements to visit the sexual disorder clinic. The chief doctor is showing him around, discussing cases and the facility, when the student sees a patient masturbating right there in the hallway.

    "What condition does he have?" the student asks.

    "He suffers from Seminal Buildup Disorder," the doctor replies. "If he doesn't obtain sexual release forty to fifty times a day, he'll pass into a coma."

    The student takes some notes on that, and they continue down the hall. As they turn the corner, he sees another patient with his pants around his ankles, receiving oral sex from a beautiful nurse.

    "What about him?" the student asks. "What's his story?"

    "Oh, it's the same condition," the doctor replies. "He just has a better health plan."
    --------------------------------------------------
    thats all for now i know theyre not all too funny but oh well



  10. #10
    Mark
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeaniesing
    ...how is that an end dearie? I said "good for"... ita biggie for you guys! The list is female-centric.
    Misread your post, i taught u meant its bad for. I was just think, sure its only excersise!



  11. #11
    agentHibby
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeaniesing
    I got this in an email... from a student nonetheless (thanks BK)... BUT, its the first time I've read it and it's got some good points to make to one's chosen partner !
    I will let you know if any of this is true for me when I get married.
    That might be a few years from now.
    The best provider gives you a plan with the minutes you need at the right price. The coverage that you need to make calls all the time.



  12. #12
    Ryster611
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    For a male, it is also said that having sex 5 times a week reduces the chance of prostate cancer by 30%!



  13. #13
    lil'shady
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    lol, all of y'all ae full of sh*t but in a jokie way,i like this thread lol



  14. #14
    SimpleToes
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    Re: "Sex is good for you" (PG-13)

    I don’t have a soul mate to be honest and I don’t think that is bad. In principle, I myself am not bad and I don’t have these “couples.” I can go out with whoever I want, do what I want. The only problem sometimes is having fun with my friends. This problem always helps me solve a place that you can check here and it really works. I have not had any problems with this lately and I’m happy with everything and I think it’s better than a relationship anyway



  15. #15
    DrunkGroove
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    Re: "Sex is good for you" (PG-13)

    Good afternoon! You can see a cool site to find a partner at the link https://www.hellohotties.com/. There you can really relax and give free rein to your thoughts and desires. I had a great experience after a long correspondence with a partner, we met and had a great time at night!



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