Got a good joke

Originally Posted by teamneon

did you read that in maxim this month?
i just read that...and thats about the only thing i read so..lol

No, but the guy who told me I'm sure did.

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› See More: Got a good joke

i got a joke.. exclusive to koreans only...

whts the most gangster kind of grandma

bone thugs and halmoni


AHHAHAHHAH

:]

if ur korean u get it!

otherwise!!!

u dont!

An elderly couple, Ray and Bessie, are "Snowbirds" in Arizona. Ray has always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale at WalMart, he buys them and wears them home, walking proudly.

He saunters into the house and says to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"

Bessie looks him over and says, "Nope."

Frustrated, Ray storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room, completely naked except for the boots.

Again he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT NOW?"

Bessie looks up and says, "Ray, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Ray yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!"

To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda' bought a hat, Ray. Shoulda' bought a hat."

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of
this, the wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one
with water and the other with whiskey.

After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings his bait
box. She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water it,
and it swims around.

She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then
says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to
say about this experiment?"

He responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"

hehehehehehehe

This little boy goes up to his dad and he says "Dad?, What's the difference between Potentially and Realistically?"

To which the father replies "Well son, go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then you ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then you ask your brother if he would sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars."

So the boy goes up to his mom and asks her if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars and the mother replies "Oh my god, of course I would, he is so good looking!"

So the boy moves on and asks his sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and she replies "He is so sexy of course I would!"

Then last but not least he goes up to his brother and asks him if he would sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars, his brother says "Of course I would, who wouldn't for a million bucks?"

So he goes up to his dad and says "I think I learned the difference between potentially and realistically"

"Well what's the difference?" says the father.

"Well, potentially we're sitting on 3 million dollars, realistically we're living with 2 sluts and a fag!"

Originally Posted by joethetowman

This little boy goes up to his dad and he says "Dad?, What's the difference between Potentially and Realistically?"

To which the father replies "Well son, go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then you ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then you ask your brother if he would sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars."

So the boy goes up to his mom and asks her if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars and the mother replies "Oh my god, of course I would, he is so good looking!"

So the boy moves on and asks his sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and she replies "He is so sexy of course I would!"

Then last but not least he goes up to his brother and asks him if he would sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars, his brother says "Of course I would, who wouldn't for a million bucks?"

So he goes up to his dad and says "I think I learned the difference between potentially and realistically"

"Well what's the difference?" says the father.

"Well, potentially we're sitting on 3 million dollars, realistically we're living with 2 sluts and a fag!"

That is too good.

lol

i swear i saw this joke in maxin either that of fhm

:] i get em every month

A newlywed couple checks into the honeymoon suite at a hotel on a lake. About ten o clock on the first night, the desk clerk notices the husband sneaking out with all his fishing gear. He returns several hours later with his daily limit of fish. Well, this goes on for a few days, and the desk clerk finally lets his curiousity get the better of him. As the husband sneaks out, the desk clerk stops him by the door and says, "You know, this is probably none of my business, but if you just got married, then why aren't you upstairs making love to your wife?"
To which the husband replies, "Oh no, I can't. She has gonorrhea."
"Well, what about oral sex?'
"Nope, she has pyorrhea."
"Okay, how 'bout anal sex then?"
"Out of the question. She has diarrhea."
So, the desk clerk, looking rather perplexed, asks, "Well, if you can't have any fun in bed with her, then why did you marry her???"
The husband starts smilng and says, "Because she has worms, and you've seen how I like to fish..."

lmao

ewwwwwww

where do u guys get these...

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User.....

___________________ __________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation.. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance . Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 ! and Do Bills 4.2 .

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best of luck,

Tech Support

lol i like that oneill give u rep points

Originally Posted by Korean_Boi

lol i like that oneill give u rep points

Thanks! Glad you liked it.

A lady at a golf course got stung by a bee and decided to see a doctor about it. The docter asked her where she got stung and she replied "Between the 1st and 2nd hole." The doctor then said "Well, maybe your stance is a little too wide."

Subject: Doctor
>
> An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.
> >> T he doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring
> >>back a semen sample tomorrow."
> >>
> >>The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and
> >>gave
> >>him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
> >>
> >>The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's
> >>like
> >>this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my
> >>left hand, but still nothing.Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with
> >>her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth,
> >>first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing . We
> >>even called up Arlene, the lady next door, and she tried too, first with
> >>both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her
> >>knees, but still nothing."
> >>
> >>The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
> >>
> >>The old man replied, "Yep. None of us could get the jar open."