Blagues

a young woman buys a new parrot, she gets it home and puts him in his cage. almost immediately he says

"awk nice legs baby awk"

she is understandably pissed off and puts him in the frezer for 3 minutes.. whilst in the frezzer he realises he should not say that again..

the next day she's getting ready for bed when he says awk nice breasts baby awk... this time she shuts him in the freezer for 5mins.

when she takes him out he gasps " AWK WHAT THE HELL DID THE TURKEY SAY"

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A drunk gets on a bus late at night and sits next to an old lady. the old lady looks at him up and down and says

" You Know what my boy youre going straight to hell"

"oh S**t replies the drunk im on the wrong bus"

the mannydas joke exhibition is open again any1 wanna add???

heres a funny one

there are two whale one male one female they see a fishing boat taking all the fish

so the male whale comes up with an idea so he tells the female his plan was to go under the fishing boat blow out water to tip the boat and then eat all of the people on board

so the female replies i dont mind the blow job but i dont wanna swallow the seamen

LOL nice joke streetballa since no1 else is posting u are awarded by default JOKE OF THE WEEK!

If pro is opposite of con,
then what is the
opposite of progress?
Congress!

Men's restroom
House of Representatives,
Washington, DC
>

A Woman's Rule of Thumb:

If it has Tires or testicles,

you're going to have trouble with it.


Women's restroom
Dick's Last Resort,
Dallas, TX

ok rknrne i didnt really understand those jokes....

OK THE PRIZE FOR JOKE OF THE WEEK IS $25

A student is in class and the teacher is preparing them for the most important test of the year. She says, "For no reason should you miss school tomorrow. The only way you should stay home is if you are extremely ill and wouldn't be able to take a test." Then the student says, "Excuse me, is sexual exhaustion a good enough reason to stay home?" Then the teacher says, "No, not at all. I'm sure you'll be able to write with your other hand."

good joke! Joke Of The Week will be awarded every friday night... English Time lol

no1 taking me up on joke of the week with the prize at $25

There were four old ladies, around the age of 89, in a sedan going extremely slow on the I-25. The highway patrol pulls over this car, and realizes that there are four old ladies in the car all pale with the looks of clear fear and distress. The highway patrol said "Ma'am, its just as dangerous to drive fast as it is to drive slow." The lady goes, "oh no patrol man, im just obeying the speed laws"....with this in mind, the highway patrol scratches his head and points out the the minimum speed limit for the I-25 was 65 mph in a white colored sign. The highway patrol man asks why the three passenger ladies are scared and pale, and the old lady goes "OHH i thought those green signs with the I was the speed sign, i just got off the I-90 and the I-110."

These are racial jokes, so if u are gonna be offended, look the other way....i am gonna balance these jokes so dont worry.

1. Mexican - There is a room with no windows or decorations of anything, just a white four walled room. There are four character in each other the corner. There are Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, A smart mexican, and a dum mexican. Now in the middle of this room is a pile of cash...who gets the money? the dum mexican does cuz the others dont exist.

2. Asian - How do u know if an asian robbed ur house? Ur house is still clean, ur computer has been upgraded, the carpet has foot prints, and the person is still trying to back out the drive way.

3. Blacks - Why are black people so good at basketball? They're the best of the best at shooting, stealing, and running.

4. White - Top 10 Reasons to Know You're a Redneck

1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
2. You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.
3. You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.
4. You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.
5. You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.
6. You have used a velvet leaf plant as toilet paper.
7. You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops.
8. You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.
9. You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.
10. You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers and peel apples.

Bill Clinton awoke one winter's morn to look out his White House window. He saw the unbecoming sight of the words "SCREW YOU!" written in urine on the virgin white house snow. Sure it was a personal attack on himself, he ordered the secret service to investigate.
the Security Chief approached him some time later quite hesitant.

"Sir.. we ran a DNA test on the urine sample."

"well, go on, who was it?!"

"I'm afraid it's your very own Vice President, Al Gore!"

"...that's tough to take, friend. but thanks for your work."

"Well, that's not all, Sir..." said the security chief. "We also ran a handwriting analysis, and it's your wife's!"

OWWWWW damn that messed up X. ROFL but thats hella funny....it looks as if i lost that 25 buck contest for the best joke =S LOL "and it's your wife's!" LOL