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- 02-09-2005, 07:15 AM #1th land surfer dudeGuest
under th radar( big green bud found )
***
th heat's calmed down a bit
dropped off at lunch time today
timing
i ended up on this massive roof
with umpteen barges to paint
the edge dear
got green
and some salmony colour paint
hangin off me everywhere
***
some of th boys in th industry
are shavin legs and arms
th plastic paint we use these days
thick as membranes
can be a bastard to get out of hair
bit like gettin a wax
every day
***
gettin ****in brown
***
got a new two dollar fence painting brush
actually
it aint bad
does nice cut edges
thunder storms dragged us off th roof today
just before three
too many drops fallin from th sky
and th wind went nuts
watchin th collection of
bmw's and mercedes drive past
expensive suburb
no holdens or falcons
****in toffee noses
it's a depressing place
***
masking th upper story of a house this morning
so th guys can spray it
cute owner
"****in oath"
"nearly off th roof"
"was she a photgrapher ?"
i didnt look
was his take
freaked enough by camera clickers at th moment
caught myself whistling
not unusual while i mask
layin upside up th roof
stickin sheets of newspaper to th walls
kept my voice down for a change
it wasnt a friday thank god
couldnt stop th whistling
was doin like
singin background
"makin up songs"
she was pretty
heard one i liked anyway
came up with an A
and a B
and tossed it around for a while
flew into th bridge and
where th **** am i ?
one of th boys talkin to me
was hot as still
and th pretty lady is fussy
stop readin th paper while ya wait for me
to clear this corner
or i'll hang em upside down
<<< smile >>>
you try rushin in 30 plus heat
couldnt see past th sweat
we were havin smoko
she gets back home
and
yur pool's lookin cloudy
have a wee rave
and
th shop tests dont show anythin wrong
hang on a tic
i went and had a drink of it
low on chlorine love
tastes sweet though
<<< smile >>>
***
if it aint makin my eyes sting
it's not over chlorinated
and with our heat
th chlorine disappears fast
***
ah ****
a doco about a paper in iran
followin a photo journalist
***
where are th drugs ?
"ya wouldnt look"
gorgeous accent
ah well
i'm th edge painter
i paint what you see from th ground
th artist
they spray all th flat areas
they dont think art
i wanna see it looks pretty when i leave
we knew you had an artists eye
we know ppl
can tell by what ya see from th ground
what's bothering you
***
"top half went in th pool"
was ****in hot when i got off
it was a nice morning
<<< smile >>>
***
next one was higher up
and in
another of th affluent suburbs
just dont ask me about it in real life ok
i was never there
***
we call em th effluent suburbs
cause their collective **** dont stink
and they got better water pressure
so they can flush it away
**** man
that's th fifth bmw to drive by in
twenty minutes
this is a ****in side street
then a bmw backed out of th house acrooss th road
and i had to stop to have a giggle
hang on
im in australia
dickheads
***
i drive a ford falcon
ok
it
's nearly amercian
but we at least call it our own car
***
funny
my car cost like
$550
cheap baby
XF
drives like a limo
my little brother spent for th month of january
on runnin repairs
on his
imported land rover
$550
i could throw mine away
and buy another one
these are still common
dickhead
***
he killed his last falcon
hard on vehicles
+++
****s me
***
i found this massive bud
all naked and alone
unprotected
not in a baggie man
drivin home from
the valley of th mansions
just sittin in my car seat cover
cant have that
i was well out of it
by th time i got home
found one of little brothers car mags
read for ten mintues and
sleep
been ****in hot
no=-one's been sleepin good
we been resistin th
air conditioner
**** man
ya go to a dive
standard five hipper
th low end of town
bein rebuilt
into somethin else
rendering th walls and installing air conditioners
we lift a tile generally
and see when th house was built
got dates
and look at some of th shoddy business practises
we witnessed in th building game
in th 70's and 80's
said then
that aint gunna last
th old man was a builder
see everything that's built
when i'm on a roof
i look at eye lines
what does th eye see ?
***
when a neighbour
has watched ya go thru th process
washing and cleaning
fixing
and then
puttin paint all over it
and comes up and
looks nice
will ya come pay me a visit ?
some streets
i sit on th roof
and see
seven houses
all referrals from th first one in th street
with rooves
th golden rule is
50/60
what's it look like
from fifty feet away
at sixty k's
we mix imperial and metric
havent quite changed over yet
kids in aus
know what four feet is
call it one and a third metres
see she has got a kid
"<<< smile >>>"
***
i dunno
***
i get a bit covered in it
but then
im a street entertainer
i used to paint my skin on purpose
and go ride unicycles thru th nightclubbing crowd
fun as
***
"all of last week"
we didnt paint
havent in a while
"might just leave this lot on"
sticky enough
***
unicycle sitting in th front seat of th falcon
got pride of place
***
ya have to have good balance
otherwise ya go off th edge
***
"rod's got some straight work"
"offerin"
**** that
im in th black economy
see my skin ?
***
"We work saturday ?"
dunno till fri night
sorry
nother fella
<<< smile >>>
th year has begun
***
fired up late this year
***
"if we work sat what ya wanna do ?
go surfin
"unicycle surfin"
**** em
surfin
"Singin ?"
did it last week
***
hmmm
***
"spokes are rusting"
pay the rego on th car
i'll buy another unicycle
"deans crank aint ****ed this time"
"he smashed a bearing"
<<< smile >>>
im proud of that boy
no dear
unicycles
that arent meant for that
violent
six inch bunny hops
from a 84 kilo boy
i can do em but
im 65 kilo
same bearings
just not built for it
if he wants to ride hard
he'll have to build stronger beasts
or learn mechanical sympathy
+++
i dont to need ride everyday anymore
it's just there
edgier if ya havent been on for a week
get nicely toasted and
put on some good music and
fly th unicycle
im spoilin myself at th moment
only ridin it
in nice places
dont need to do rides around th block
abs are already workin
come about friday though
i dunno
maybe th long abandoned hornibrook highway bridge
run over and back every now and then
if i can cross
in a decent wind
without stoppin
im feelin good
but ya dont wanna think about it
cause then ya do fall
just let it happen
+++
truth
+++
"and lies"
"<<< smile >>>"
***
"fell off on th way over last time"
"couple of k's of bouncy unicyclin in th wind"
was well out of it
hadnt done it in a while
and was thinkin about it
crossed back just fine
"after tellin th young fella th creed"
we didnt mention th drugs though
to make things
interesting
***
more drugs over here
***
i liek life
***
just smokin my big green bud
+++
"catch of th moment"
what she said on th telly
about fish
***
go away jennifer
***
"****head"
"determined to stay single"
"ya know ya wrote last night"
"big wet gaping vagina"
"BEFORE"
"corrinne did that havin a baby skit on rove live"
so
"she said she was single"
oh dear
***
she's on two stations now
bubblie girl
***
corrine with her legs over ears
we know ya wanna see that
man it's so subtle
***
**** i laughed
***
sorry corinne
was a cheap shot
***
"got child bearin hips that woman"
"gunna rip that plastic baby outta there"
"and try for a real one"
ya talk big
***
"just takin off tarz"
***
"when we goin to **** jane again ?"
***
goin to music
fancy askin synchronicity ?
"ok"
"random all music"
"spin on"
+++
?
"god send me an angel track no01"
+++
"i had fun whistling this morning"
no different to singin background
just makin it up as we go along
"found some phrases i liked"
"one i wanna sing"
no differnce between a voicebox and a whistle
more flexible than th pottery ocarina hangin around yur neck
gettin paint on it
"travel ocarina"
"make me a new one paulie"
i wanna fix my old peace travelling ocarina
same as this one
dental plastic in th top
someone yanked on it
and took out th necklace holder
"in bed"
<<< smile >>>
they get in th road
forget yur wearin em
"it's happy rock clay isnt it ?"
<<< smile >>>
kadeetcha man makin pottery ocarinas in th bush
to give to my tribe
with a bit of local ground magic thrown in
***
bjork
"02 one day"
***
"ok"
***
funny
***
i havent given you yur
21st present yet
pretty goth girl
th inspiration will cum
..
..
..
another mad artist
+++
p.s.
happy rock clay
***
shakespears sister
"01 i dont care"
***
i wanna go for a fly
hmm
little brothe rjust yelled out
put on seven
zero hour ?
reneactment of one of th planes
that went into th tower
***
ok
***
flight 11
***
"no batteries"
****in mp3 player is voracious
i aint payin five bucks at this time of night
+++
"should buy another that comes with rechargable batteries"
+++
a waterproof one
****in surf gives me th willies
yur gunna kill my music arent ya ya bastard
every crash in th surf
is like
pls not again
im payin for this ****
***
ya do what ya can
***
it's all good
***
its been a couple of years since i trashed a music maker in th surf
those walkman's didnt like surf much
<<< smile >>>
the land surfer dude
+++
p.p.s.
i dont trust current affairs programs
they mistake skatebikes for unicycles
and label ppl beyond their abilities
ya know he killed himself ray
the unicycle man of byron bay
+++
he couldnt wear his label
it wasnt a name he called himself
least wise
not when i met th man and rode a unicycle with him
playin tiggy in th carpark
we understood each other
kinda wish i hadnt taken a chick with me
ah well
+++
afroman
"
she wont let me ****"
***
he was a nice fella
the uncicyle man of byron bay
said he lived in a kombi
offered my good lady and i
a kombi for th night too
ah babe
ya yuppie *****
she preferrs to **** in a water bed man
what can i say ?
<<<< smile >>>
i didnt say that
just called her a surfers paradise girl
we spent enough time there
***
powderfinger
"A song called everything"
***
you tried brother
we havent forgotten ya
was an interesting conversation
i dedicated htat gig
at th tyalgum hall
to you
hundered smilin kids
i thought more appropriate
than me ridin a unicycle in th surf and surfin
in front of th pub
one day though
i'lsneak thru
hear there's a unicyclist down there
i know about him
spotted him inth street
lookin for th dude on th telly
bailed outta th car
see ya morticia
ill find ya at th pub
and off like a jackrabbit
into th traffic
took too long to park
and he wasnt th guy i was lookin for
or was he ?
the unicycle man of byron bay
cept he could ride a unicycle
and probly preferred ridin it
to makin other ppl smile
george carlin
"life's little moments"
i alternate
i figure it's balance
***
i think deano
is up to takin on th surf
"i concurr"
maybe this sunday's
family day
i'll make on a bigger beach
you wanna come young fella
you ride a wheel
no girls bikes
this is boys bikes only
if it aint ridin one wheel
it's walkin
and carryin th gear
led zeppelin
"ramble on"
this is a fat song
to surf too
got a kicky rhythm
gets th flywheel fairly spinnin
stuff it in a wave and
yyyyyyyyyeyeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhh
turbo boost
we're in th wave
to th shore
and pull up and
mp3 player on th shore
im here to crash
or fall down trying
it's ****in hot
rhythm stil playin in my head
i'm a musician
sing on street corners
and drum
whoops
that wave was a little big
sorry
pretty lady
seem to have splashed you there
no man
this is how ya splash pretty girls
lesson one:
how to splash pretty girls
› See More: how to splash pretty girls
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