Pleasurable Despair Of Hopelessness & Acceptance {Cause Of Procastination an essay by me}

I am not bragging but this is a damm good essay.
This essay is about procastination in skill devlopment and studying and self improvement but it would also apply to other things.

I am again compelled to write a essay because the itching inside me won't stop. This is not a fiction and there is no website called short_essay_hub so i am positing it here. Now i am not actually informed about the topic and anything said below may vary from absolute truth to complete snake oil pseudoscience.

read from here
So anyway i have seen some youtube videos talking about procrastination and i have also seen this in my observation. Basically procrastination happens when you
subconsciously assume that you are not going to succeed . This happens most when you are in the average . Success here is mostly doing better than average of your group. It's never (I am not smart enough to succeed) . It's mostly {I don't have good enough memory to memorize all the stuff} {I don't have enough self control to succeed}{I don't have enough time to succeed}

every time you procrastinate all this is all is not going to through your mind consciously. What's actually going in your mind is "There is absolutely nothing i can do"
"I am going to do it tomorrow or later"

There is a nice funny fuzzy feeling of calm and peace in your head now.

{Now you are absolutely certain here that in no way in hell you are going to be able to do this tomorrow. It doesn't make any sense to procrastinate here}
but by now your brain has already become too UNCOMFORTABLE subconsciously thinking about the consequences and it's ruining your mood and irritating you.

Seriously just think about it for a second I bet this has happened to you before. There is nothing more irrirtating then getting reminded of work when you are procrastinating.
Any alarm you would set are just switched off. Any messages that they show just makes your face cringe.

Now it has two options.


Option Awell about the reality of your inevitable doom and try to find a solution .
excuting A.
.
.
doom is certain there is absolutely nothing. Nothing and i mean nothing. Just nothing. Even if i sit i would just waste my time and not be productive. throw exception I_hate_this_make_it_stop.

{now do note here. There is absolutely something you can do. You can go stop and do your stuff. There are physical things you can do which will make you concentrate. Like using analog clocks}
If given time later when the time has passed you can always recite 10 things you could have done at this time. But never at the moment of procrastination will you be able to remember how to stop procrastination and focus.

If you do manage to sit down it would be extremely extremely hard to focus.
For a single reason you are dealing with what i would like to call.
Pleasurable Despair Of Hopelessness & Acceptance

You are calm but you are not really happy. You have a warm fuzzy feeling but there is also a squashed feeling of dread in the back of your head.
You are answering the dread by saying {I don't care . It doesn't matter}

The reason you won't be able to FOCUS is because as a whole it is a negative feeling which arises the more you look at the thing you are procrastinating .

The more you look at it the more you think about how much more work has to be done. How it is hopeless since you don't have self control.

Your brain completely and utterly goes ape**** here.

If something makes you feel hopelessness then your brain would do everything in it's power to stop. You have a easier time killing puppies then you would have working through hopelessness.
It gets too stressed out.
It activates it's evolutionary defense mechanisms against despair. The same mechanism which protect you from despair of death. Once you accept that you are going to die you stop stressing about death especially if it's far away.

As long as the thing you are scared of is more than a week away you won't even feel bad procrastinating.

Now the thing to note is that you are not at all helpless here. If you were helpless here then there is no way you could have thought ways to solve this problem after the problem has already passed.

Your brain just thinks you are helpless and the activity you are doing is pleasurable and it doesn't want to stop.



the thing which actually gets you productive is positive emotions.

as long as you feel appropriately rewarded with dopamine after completing a minor accomplishment.
You would know that because it would be different from the lull type feeling of indifference you are currently experiencing while reading this.
It would be minor joy.

As long as you are rewarded and you feel something is important and has value you can get anything done.

If you start to work while drowning in despair and hopelessness that lull type feeling of calm. You would sit to study and just drift of into daydreams or you would start to google stuff like. {insert superstar's new clothes/boyfriend or where was taco invented or How is EA ruining your life}

Solution
Now what can you do.

{When i was writing this essay i was about to say you could do nothing and you are completely helpless and this essay is just macabre humor about the fact that we are no better than dogs}
Use Multiple Choice Questions and a analog clock if you are into STEM.
question banks are pretty good. use fill in the blanks if your subject needs it.

Knowing the fact that people with good self control are very rare and if you actually somehow develop self control then you have already won the game even if the time remaining for your deadline is less.
Seriously everyone is just as bad. That is why you are average.

Think about the stuff which gives you an edge above the competition . It can be your comprehension of the subject matter. Your intelligence. Understanding.
Some efficient trick for solving answers others are not aware of .

Hell you know what others are not aware how effective MCQ and analog clocks are . That itself gives you a advantage.

I was really really surprised that beveling in yourself and having faith that if you work hard you will succeed works.
Like i thought it was complete shounnen bull****.
but that is not the case.
If you believe without a shadow of doubt that if I work harder than others then I would certainly succeed .
the talent difference is not that much.

then you can work really hard.

40% of NFA hockey players are born in January. 90% of hockey players selected are born in first quarter of year.
The reason for this despairty is cut off date for kids hockey league is January 1st.
if you are born in January then you get to be one year older than your peers . This gives you an early taste of success and gives you a bias that you are better than other hockey players but not better enough that you can win without working hard.

This motivates people to work hard because they think (I will certainly win if i work hard because when i was a kid i was good at hockey so i must have talent)
Now it is statistically impossible that somehow people born in first quarter of year are magically most talented.

The fact that you would think you will win. Makes you win.



The deciding factor in success is not talent.
It's the fact that if you get pleasure from working on the thing you are working on.


Ask yourself

How hard will I work if i knew for certain that doing exactly this thing everyday will make me the best.

By this thing i don't mean studying. I mean very very very concrete goals which aren't vague at all.
Example
solving 60 MCQ questions everyday. If a magical being appeared infront of you and said that if you do 60 questions then it is certain that you are going to succeed in life then you would succeed. It would be a self fulfilling prophecy because doing 60 question is actually enough to guarantee success.

even if it was not enough then doing it everyday would be better than doing nothing. But your brain doesn't work that way. It's very instinctive it somehow shuts down if it feels uncertainty. Even thought it is logical to accept uncertainty and continue. It doesn't work .

Somehow humans have a bias against uncertainty and they hate it.
If you have uncertainty about your success even if you complete your concrete goal then sweat despair actiavtes and you aren't able to work.
it's an example of your evolutionary brain getting better of you.

It goes hey dude i controlled apes for a million years i know better than you .
Don't work . Go open scribble-hub. if you won't i would give no dopamine.

And like that we become the brain's ***** enslaved to his dopamine and get mindbroken and die in a ditch.




Now your brain is going to do it's hardest to make you forget all this.



It's like we are all ****ed by the world and there is a magical force which will try to make you forget everything.
The force sometimes takes over your brain and says "I don't care" . It's not your voice.
It's evolution making you his *****.
Evolution is echoing it through the brain and you think you are saying it.

You do care but it's the sweat despair of instinct inside you which has overtaken you .


Religions help drug dealer because it says the same thing i have said here.
It just calls evolution and your instinct the devil.



just imagine your wiafu or husbando or anyone you idolize or just yourself after you have changed and become what you desire to me.
And swear against the heavens.
I WILL NEVER FORGET .CARVE INTO YOUR SOUL AND REMEMBER
A promise to yourself not to any gods or demons or the world like religions ask you to.

just a promise to your future self to not die. Maybe a promise to your corpse on your deathbed.

remeber the next line it's practical
Use Multiple Choice Questions and a analog clock if you are into STEM. keep getting your dopamine boost from concrete goals.

don't accept that you are going to stay perpetually miserable. You can do something.
oh also question banks are pretty good. use fill in the blanks if your subject needs it.

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