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- 02-10-2005, 02:05 AM #1th land surfer dudeGuest
nasty eel ( the pipe unblocker )
+++
not one of my better titles
go and get ****ed
***
shoved th eel down th blocked pipe
got it past th bend that defeated little brother
paulie cant have baths
till th pipe flows water again freely
have t play
suck it and see
***
was out for a couple hours this morning
finished that big high ****er
in mansion valley
maybe they should call it
valley of th bmw's and mercedes cars
****in litter th place
like travellin to another country
+++
suckholes
+++
hands up
who's ever been to germany and seen a
mercedes taxi
yeah it's special
+++
wow
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hello and welcome to th stuck up ***** hour
we'll be questioning several *****es
+++
"what about me ?"
you;re a ficticious *****
"rather be a ferocious *****"
hmmm
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at least th drugs taste nice today
+++
i fell asleep
and now it's four o'clock
heat's droppd off and
just sultry now
light rain they said
dont look like light rain to me
+++
so thursday
+++
"singin tonight ?"
no
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kylie minogue
"someday"
***
i guess
+++
think i can stand sittin at home
gettin out of it
hasnt been a week
since th last pretty girl smiled at me
while i was singin in th street
nice feeling
but
over rated
+++
aint special if ya do it all th time
"would nicole kidman be like that do ya think ?"
if you were doin her all th time ?
"yeah"
i hope not to find out
+++
no offense
+++
where she lives in sydney is
kinda like where i was in brisbane today
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city high
"caramel" remix
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roads littered with expensive foreign cars
with girls goin
if it didnt come from europe
it aint goin on my face
bbbbrrr
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"jane"
yeah
+++
"been a week"
i got a date already saturday night
never been in a gay bar
<<< smile >>>
+++
"should try singin to em"
dont try this at home
less you can handle th touching
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kylie
"track no09"
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what are ya doin to me windows ?
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"flowers grow"
"they;re everywhere you go"
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dried green flowers
yeah
+++
buds
+++
marijuana ****head
jeez yur slow
+++
"got two yuppie ex girlfriends"
"who both wanna say gday"
<<< smile >>>
+++
at least i'm earnin money right ?
+++
"you dont feel for me kylie"
"with that bottom"
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strange girl
+++
forgot to turn on th fan
been sweatin throughout th day
afro smells of stale sweat
shower hasnt got it all
**** it's gettin thick
+++
system of a down
"aerials"
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still pickin bits of paint
out of my hair
painful
+++
now that's not on
big graze on th right knee
unicycle accident
at speed
and half covered in plastic paint
ow
+++
looks like th pot will make it thru th night
+++
"more drugs over here"
"been buyin early"
+++
ever been offered drugs by your pretty female drug dealer ?
and you get home
to find
oh dear
i've nicked her lighter
+++
city high
"caramel"
+++
alright windows
th skin is very brown this week
+++
and my tits have grown
been workin again
+++
"<<< smile >>>"
+++
ya think pooh can dance ?
"i intend on finding out"
+++
just checkin my head
hmm
i can think of three girls
phone numbers
recall's workin ok
+++
bill hicks
"car bomb derby"
+++
here
let me put a sunroof in yur bmw
big ****in axe
+++
?
"redneck"
+++
you might be a redneck if
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gorillaz
"clint eastwood"
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i dont know mika
i like singin with th big samoan australian boy
the gay folk are umm
less inclined
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singin with michael
they;d sit on th seat next to me
"miss ya michael"
+++
where were ya rock spider ?
last week
we came out
and ya werent there
missed th playin beats
across th road from a nightclub
different in th mall with mika
"like th alcove"
"get a little foldback"
+++
ppl's bodies suck sound
have to dig deep
and sing loud
+++
cant do it at home
to anywher near th same measure
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the offspring
"pretty fly" ( for a white guy )
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think i'm
half white
half black
not really sure
neither is anyone else
mum told some stories
half dutch
but th short answer is same as mika's
i'm australian
+++
had a good look at th spokes
in th 24 unicycle wheel
yow
salt water is ****in em
they're gunna start breakin soon
but i like surfin on it
and i dont see thousands of other ppl doin th same thing
+++
powderfinger
"day you come"
+++
i used to have a problem
singin like a girl
felt self concsious
but lots and lots of nice ppl
were supportive
+++
been monstered in th street
by a group of seven guys
who'd preferr i sang like a boy
had four girls step out of th shadows
and tell em to get ****ed
that helped
+++
"that and th bunch of chicks"
"who threw fifty cent coins at ya"
they hurt
+++
the kinks
"she's got everything"
+++
th little two dollar coins
can inflict some serious damage on th skin
+++
chick whispering in my ear
"i can afford you"
singin under th lights
in cavill mall
with al
gave me her bank statement
now i;ve seen everything
+++
i got freaked out surfers paradise
wasnt really expecting
the reaction i got
was a bit overwhelming
+++
fantastic facepaint
put on by a girl who fancied me
and dirty dancin in th nightclubs
with a unicycle
+++
placebo
"running up that hill"
+++
got space in yur cloak room for my wheel ?
+++
it was a kick
+++
"th girl who worked at th radisson"
+++
got enough trouble with women now
"yeah but **** she could dance"
+++
prefer dancin on th unicycle
"too much attention"
"yelled at in th street for havin too many clothes on"
"take yur shirt off man"
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i'm a sensitive boy ok
some of it bothers me
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bill hicks
"lift me lord"
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arent i 42 ?
+++
pls god
+++
i got grey hairs for ****'s sake
+++
city high
"you dont know me"
+++
get called
aboriginal elder
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<<< smile >>>
+++
nice voice girl
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different things to different ppl
i'm in here somewhere
+++
i was sittin in a yuppie cafe
with a yuppie chick
ok
playin toyboy
dressed yuppie
talkin about th hippie commune
id bopped thru th day before
and how much fun i had
a shave and a change of clothes
and a little behaviour modification
sippin vodka and oranges
while watchin th surf
upmarket seaside restaurant
watchin th prety girl
sippin chardonnays
+++
acdc
"Walk all over you"
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none of that cheap rubbish
+++
we'll meet th girls
at th thai restaurant
and then kick on
and go nightclubbing
just gotta go thru makeup
smoke a joint and
just relax th face man
wild psychedelic flower
all over th face
and carried down th neck
**** i miss ya minka
painted beautiful faces
for th unicycle man of surfers paradise
pity i lived a hundred clicks away
+++
still do
+++
why are they giving me free drinks ?
how th **** did i get here ?
+++
ahh
i started ridin a unicycle like a maniac
nuthin to live for
playin chicken with th taxis at three am
hmmm
+++
"divebombing th walking crowd"
+++
portishead
"All mine"
+++
today's cigarette brand is
peter jackson
virginia
+++
ya dont wanna get stuck on one
brand
i dont give a **** what they are
spent too long
in a street
bein offered cigarettes
by
girls and boys
here there and everwhere
hey stop
do us a trick
ridin in th surf's pretty good
ridin down a travellator
that knocks em dead
ok
i'll do ya some bunny hops
and a coupla slides
bit pissy really in comparison
no i dont juggle
too stereotypical for me
i do my own thing
pretty much
+++
catchin waves
foot of white water under my wheel
and seven or eight cones of marijuana
under th ebelt
and go surfin
i dont give a **** if th spokes rust
+++
david bowie
"the man who sold th world"
+++
every now and then
some gorgeous creature
asks me to stop
so she can get a photo with me
still feels funny
[second pass]
couple of weeks ago
a pretty guy with a big expensive camera
runnin along beside me in th surf
gettin th unicycle wheel
catchin waves in th white water
steppenwolf
"born to be wild"
i'd share but i didnt get a number
[second pass]
+++
two giggling japanese girls
and a japanese guy
he's tryin to ask me if i'm a a body builder
i'm well out of it
and tryin to tell him
no
i ride a unicycle
and singin with al
under th lights for a break
main street surfers paradise
you didnt have much english
but i really liked th girls goin off
blew my mind
+++
just ridin a unicycle
and following my nose
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bit lost
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"and stoned"
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sex and drugs and rock n roll
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"street version"
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if you can sing
high and loud
they'll treat ya like a rockstar
nice
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jewel
"cleveland"
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i sit down with one of my busker mates
and he pushes something at me
here paulie
try this
suckin drugs out of a potato
in th street
hi folks
pretty girl
about to dance to th two drums we're about to play
gigglin
cause we're smokin pot
in th street
and
already completely out of it
and i arrived on th unicycle
comin th wrong way down th street
in th dark
no lights and
cars swervin
my bitumen
hey dude
makes th pot taste funny
but nice man
meet th pretty girl currently playing drums
in th alcove
rock spider wants th rock spider mantra
so i'll take th lead in th beat for a bit
put a little synchopation
a little
twist in th beat
a perfect circle
"pet"
get th rhythm goin
th voice opens up
starts gettin out there
girl cumming sounds coming out of my trhoat
and
she just blew me a kiss
hi
and into th bridge
and
i shouldnt have given th drum to that guy
he's teachin her bad habits
ah no
rock spider's nabbed it back
fly till it dies
another loaded
cone potato
passed to my hand
just stop singin for a bit
pullin a cone
<<< smile >>>
+++
ah no
they leave me be alone pretty much
occasionally one of th cars with blue lights overhead
has someone yell out of it at me
to get off th road
but they dont stop
we've had our police chases
+++
butthole surfers
"pepper"
+++
i've been chased thru th city
at night
on a unicycle
by a police car
and a police bike
siren goes on
time to smile
it's discrimination
just play my black card
and laugh
ya cant arrest th clown man
last time ya did that
th judge yelled at yas
and th lcoal radio
laughed at ya's for a week
for arreestin a street entertainer
ok
i take advantage of that
but
why shouldnt i ?
+++
another unicyclist spilt water
on a copper
twice
and they threw it out of court
waste of th court's time
and th clown's only gunna play it for laughs
+++
just umm
when ya first hit a new place
th cops stop ya
and th council guys
s
top ya
and ask ya questions
it's a
personal assistance vehicle
i have this delicate problem
hypersensitive testicles
and if ride th unicycle
long time
they go comfortably numb
got a medical record
keeps em at bay
im allowed to play in town too
ya cant discriminate
my playground as well
+++
ms flight simulator
"TO42"
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landing instructions
ya fly a uncicyle
ya dont ride it
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the offspring
"Walla walla"
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i feel a flight coming on
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cant get this paint off me
+++
yeah it's different body paint
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leanin on a post
in town somewhere
out of it
and havin a rest
rollin a joint ok
pretty girl walks up and says
i coudlnt believe how fast
you ride that thing thru th crowd
lots of practise
and th crowd is magic
opens magcially to accept me
dont have to yell much
sometimes though
is funny
to
scream
"NO ****ING BRAKES"
and tear thru th crowd
as they come out of a rock venue
th more out of it ones
can be real funny
in real life
+++
regurgitator
"manana"
+++
go ****in hard
...
..
th land surfer dude
+++
p.s.
led zeppelin
"since i've been loving you"
fave song not th rain song
ok ?
+++
bloody drugs
+++
hey robert
been stealin yur stolen stuff
and doin
th lesbian blues
my fingers are too ****in slow
will ya hurry up and get off *****
i wanna go nightclubbin
come on egirl
or i'll get out th sandpaper
when i squeeze yur lemon
and you cum all down my leg
+++
rock spider was cut
for short time
she was blowing kisses
you can do it man
no worries
just gotta have th balls
well
dont ****ing complain to me
she was a knockout
i dont care she hadsnt ****ed me
th look on his face was worth it
devil was ridin in th street that night
i did grab ya
and kiss ya back
and that's rare
made my night
that particular night
even forgave ya for bein blonde
otherwise it would have been on th lips
man's got some taste
+++
was my dream robert
and um
i found
ya dont have to climb on stage
wow
led zeppelin
"battle of evermore"
more up close and peronsal in th street
more frightening ?
i dunno
no bouncers to drag em off generally
althou there was this one time
while i was singin with michael
but that's another
singin on th street corner story
for another day
it feels good robert
everything i dreamed it woud be
whilr listening to led zeppelin
out of it
at thirteen
at my mad hippy aunt's place
tryin to get a grip on th mushies
was new music then
mum bought me led zeppelin 3 when it came out
every now and then
i find a busker who knows th words
and does led zeppelin justice
and i do th robert plant bits
th bits he cant quite get
dont wanna be th lead singer
wanna be th background singer
mor eroom to move
and i dont have t remember any ****in words
i can just
listen to th music
and sing
it's all good...
"<<< ****ing big smile >>>"
'thank you robert"
"not often they cum that stunning"
"was a top shelf moment"
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