!~Family guy quotes~!

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.

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› See More: !~Family guy quotes~!

Peter: If... if is good

Chris: Dad, I tried to go to school but this guy won't let me.
Peter: Oh yeah? Him and what army?
Chris: The U.S. Army.
Peter: Oh, that's a good army.

peter sings cant touch me to the beat of cant touch this

Ah ah ah ah. Can't Touch Me.
Can't Touch me.
Ja ja ja ja just like the bad guy,
From Lethal Weapon 2,
I've got diplomatic Immunity,
So Hammer, you can't sue.
I can write graffiti even jay-walk in the streets.
I can Riot, loot, not give a hoot, and touch your sister's teat.

Can't touch me,
Can't touch me.
Can't touch me,
STOP!

Peter time.
I'm a big shot, there's no doubt
Light a fire then pee it out.
Don't like it, kiss my rump.
Just for a minute, let's all do the bump. Can't touch me,
Yeah, do the Peter Griffin Bump.
Can't touch me.

I'm Presidential Peter,
Interns think I'm hot/ Don't care if you're handicapped, I'll still park in your spot! I've been around the world,
From Hartford to Back Bay
It's Peter, Go Peter, I'm so Peter, Yo Peter, Let's see Regis rap this way.
Can't touch me

Peter: A-Team roll call; Face?
Quagmire: Here and handsome!
Peter: Murdoch?
Joe: Here, and... crazy!
Peter: B.A.?
Cleveland: I pity the fool! But also suggest ways he may better himself.


Meg: (about Peter being retarded): I can never go to school again!
Stewie: Oh, yes, Meg, yes-yes yes, everything was going swimmingly for you until this. Yes, yes, THIS is the thing that will ruin your reputation, not your years of grotesque appearance, or your awkward social graces, or that Felix Ungerish way you clear your sinuses, no no no, it's THIS. Do you hear yourself talk? I might kill you tonight.

Chris: My dad is smarter than your dad.
Meg: We have the same dad, idiot!
Chris: Yeah, but mine's smarter!


Brian: Uh, Peter according to this you're not a genius. In fact you're mentally retarded.
Peter: Oh yeah? Well would a mentally retarded guy have hired a bulldozer with a drunk driver to level half of his house in celebration of his fantastic test results?
Brian: Uh, maybe.
Peter: Oh

Stewie: What the hell is this?
Lois: Sweetie, that's tuna salad.
Stewie: Oh, is that what it is? Really? Because I could have sworn it was mayonnaise and cat food.

Stewie: There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore

L....m....f....a...o....

HAHAHAAHHAHAHAH damn these things are funny

Due to the controversies within the show many nations have banned Family Guy, including Armenia, Indonesia, Malaysia, India, Iran, Thailand, Belarus, South Africa, Egypt, Philippines, Serbia and Montenegro, Vietnam, Taiwan, People's Republic of China (PRC), Albania, and South Korea

Thats them... welcome to America... lol... had to put that in there

damn thats alot of banning lol

thats why i luv america

its perfect for america, family guy is so creative and such thats why.

its not so creative its just so random lol, i prefer it to the simpsons now..
Alllllriiiteeeeee gigetty gigeeettty

Peanut butter jelly time!! My fave. . .next to when the Koolaid man burst through